Lifelong Memories

Thanks A Million NurHidayat

2012-03-02T02:48:00.005+08:00

Dearest

Hidayat,

I know that we've broke-up today at (2/3/2012) which only means that (12/12) will no longer exist. It's hard to accept the fact when we've been through so much within 15 months. I wouldn't want to beg or force you to continue on with this boyfriend/girlfriend relationship because I know the feeling wouldn't be the same. Honestly, I can never stop thinking about you neither will I stop loving you. How could I possibly let you go when my heart still beats for you, my mind still thinks about you, my eyes still searching for you, my hand still waiting to touch/feel you etc? EVERYTHING is about NurHidayat Bin Mohd Kassim! My life just simply revolve around you! Why must we stop counting down to every twelve of each month? You are the only 'Hidayat Babylove' in my life and you will always be my baby. I shall stop blabbering about how I'm going to miss you after today. Like I've said, I wouldn't want to force you and I'll respect your decision. If you think that's the best for us, than I'm willing to accept it. Thank you for all the memories that we had; Those simplistic celebration that we came up with every month on 12/12 without fail. You know what Hidayat? I will always pray that you'll be happier after the break-up. Goodbye "boyfriend" and Goodbye "12/12 or 12 December".. I promise that I wouldn't forget how the love life of Shahidayat started. I promise that I wouldn't find other men apart from waiting for you and being with you as I don't find others attractive or suit enough to be in my life. I'll never stop loving you Hidayat and I'll never break any one of my promises towards you! Remember this.. 'My Love for you is a promise'

Much love,

Shasha... Your 12/12 girlfriend

It's The End Of The Three Years

2012-02-09T13:53:00.010+08:00

Dear Fellow School-Mates,
First of all, I didn't believe that this is the end of our three years in Polytechnic!! I'm definitely going to miss our everyday lesson, our frequent cracking of stupid jokes, our 'pretend to be good students' during discussion, our usual coming to class late, our common skipping school, our same faces smoking clique , our interesting stories etc. There are too much things going on within the three years. Gosh! I just miss everyone that I've known in school. All the best in your presence and future endeavors and thank you so much for those wonderful moments! Appreciate it lots darls! Like seriously.... *hug* (=

Oh anyway, this was my last Reflection Journal for that three years in Poly..(Sweet-stuff kan?! hehe.. I know! =P)

And..... Here are some (SOME only!) of the pictures that we took on the last day of Hospitality class:

At which stage are your pregnancy at then?

2012-01-19T23:30:00.008+08:00

Siti Aminah is a bitch. She's like one spoilt mother-fucker whose father died because of holding too much sins that his daughter made. Girl, your father is in the grave and the least you could do is to be someone better to lessen off the punishment in the grave and not to have more cum shots on your pussy. Stupid. By the way, your parent are fat as well. Need to learn to lead a healthy lifestyle lah huh? Yours is so unlike my family.. my parent are not fat you see? because we don't gobbled down the foods as we have etiquette when it comes to dining.

I read your blog and got to know that you "used to be pregnant"? Pregnant or 'A' plan so that the guy will fall for it and accept you back? You said you're waiting for your boyfriend under the guy's void deck when the guy left you? I see.. You know, first thing first, love can't be forced. If you were really pregnant, and if he leaves you that shows that he's a pussy because he's scared to take the responsibility. So, move on and keep the baby even if you ended up being a single mum. Not by coming up with all these... "Sayang kesiankanlah I, I tunggu kan u kay kat bawah? I harap u maafkan I lah.. I sanggop buat ape ape untok you. I kebuloh kat sini pon takpe." (Eh... don't kay kiang ah! Fat people sure can live without foods meh?)

*Rub tummy???!!!!*

(FOR WHAT FUCK!!! HAHAHA) You know, I rub my tummy with Vicks only when I'm having stomach cramps? And you rub for? "Foetus that is growing in your stomach" or the fats? Or maybe, because your stomach got too much wind in it? *BURP BABE!*

Attention readers! It's time for basic science lesson yeah? We shall start of with a case study:
Aminah was crying and sitting alone under his boyfriend's void deck. She was sitting all alone on that fateful day. Everything seems like a downturn for her, she feels like she's at her wits end as that's the only plan she wished that it will work on her boyfriend who left her like a poop. As we can judge from her personal account in her blog, probably the guy left her because they weren't ready for 'it' but fate brought the existence of "baby poop- the shitty ghost" into her flabby stomach. It was that bad knowing about how difficult it is to search for another guy that could accept her for her facial, physical, thinking and her attitude flaws. Basically, she's has an all-rounded flaws which classify her into the group of retards. Yet, after hours of waiting, she still see no sign of her boyfriend and so, she got so mad. The thought that he refused to sympathies her at the particular moment made her went crazy! Definitely, she faced a hard time and under-go too much stress until she decided to talk to her own stomach while rubbing it. She said, "Its ok if papa doesn't love us anymore, Mama will always love you".

I feel you babe! The most sweetest story I've ever heard and I promise next year I'll let the Singaporean knows about your fate okay? Maybe I can put you on the next year's Sinaran Hati concert yes? Alright back in analyzing the case studies, I've decided to put some basic scientific facts in this topic. Based on research, your stomach will only STARTS growing on the twelfths weeks and I don't find the reason

1) Why are you rubbing your stomach? Obviously you cant feel the legs kicking because it haven't form a human-like physical structure yet! Or head turning wtv!

2) How can you possibly tell the whole world that you are sad the fact that it's not like you don't want to keep the baby, but the baby did not survive? If he's really there and he's gone before you can do something about it, you will probably be so sad until you had this moment where you are still in deep shock! But you like ok go only, you still have the mood to go to hotel with your boyfriend? Liar!

3) As what you've stated in your blog that the baby is gone before the operation? You are just one fucking liar! That foetus haven't form a human-like shape and I don't see the reason why you have to undergo some complex operation. There won't be any defects or problems when the foetus is growing at the earlier stage.

4) You are sick in the brain. We, ladies in our twenties, we do love babies and we do go crazy over babies. But we don't spent more than half of our pay to buy baby clothes and left the balance for us to go shopping for clothes at pasar malam! We take the time to pursue on our education and have the best profession. At the same time, we don't go around being the most kind-hearted nun in the past who take care of other people babies and treating them as your own; Even the nun nowadays got a better jobs to do. Thus, forcing the innocent child to call your boyfriend, 'DAD'? That's weird. Even my boyfriend told me it was scary. Oh tell me about it? In fact, everyone will have the same thinking and some of my friends told me that if they sees you, and if they are carrying their babies, they will run away from you. You are that scary my dear.

5)You don't force guy to cum inside your pussy just because you want to have a baby! Just because there's something wrong in your mind, don't let it affect others. You really treat guys like they are dumb huh?

My boyfriend was super lucky that Allah let him come to his right senses and realised how regretful he is to have been with you. He told me how embarrassed he was when he's with you when you walked into his class and his friends were like mocking you calling you a 'tong'.

I showed my boyfriend your new blog and he were laughing all the while because he finds you weird and childish. Who's that some bitch who tries to snatch your boyfriend away from you? haha... Eh... the only reason why you are like that is because you are ugly so face it.

About the picture album, seems like you know Ikel Renzo, NOT! haha.. You are that lame to upload or steal someone pictures and put it in your album as your own. And when I ask him if he knows you cause I told him about his pictures are all over the album, he texted me and ask me for the link like right after that then he said he was shock to see his pictures in those album. He know you through Friendster and he didn't know you in person, he said maybe you are one of the despo girls who read his blog and tries to tackle him. You give him a message in his tagboard panggil... "I U I U.." lagi u... haha! Despo fuck! I know his friends are all my old friends and one of them is my cousin. All the gang is that relax until you motherfucker make it such a big fuss. I see where are all that coming from. Nak kenal2 with my cousin? Haha... Dier lagi hebat dari matair kau. I told Ikel every single thing about you and he was like... "Sial lah...Masih budak-budak lagi ah dier. Abeh, matair dier lagi nak ngan dier?"...

What an impression sia auntie poh ki poh ki? Kesian kau, you lack of love untill you became this despo. Why Aminah...? Your pussy is that loose is it. Stuff in some papaya or what lah.. Sure can work one, guarantee! Ami ami...nah main.. hahaha sial _|_ My boyfriend told me this on the phone just now: Dulu kan I ingat dier mandol pasal dier cakap ex dier main dier selalu lepas kat dalam tapi takde anak. B... pasal ex dier peh air mani takde kick ah.. Puki dier longgar sangat.

And oh my god... you told everyone how many guys you've fucked with? And the different technique. You are totally disgusting. Fuck off!

Our Special Day Yet Again.

2012-01-12T20:50:00.004+08:00

Greetings everybody, today is our thirteen months of love and..still counting! Gazillion uncountable thanks to Allah, we've made it through another months of love and thanks to Him too, that even up till today, our love still stood up strong like how it first started. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have gotten the chance to feel the love from him and probably not even getting the chance to come across with him in my life. Insyallah, he would be the one who is able to guide me to the right path and also to make me understand more amazing things about Islam that I myself is unsure of. He's totally one of a kind and honestly, his presence in my life is truly heart-warming. Thank you Allah and baby, thank you for the sincerity that you've put into our relationship. Anyway, Congratulation! I love you like super duper much. Amin...

Rayban! I suke.. eeeik!

2012-01-11T23:47:00.005+08:00

I always wanted to have a Rayban glasses for myself and at last I had one! Miss RB5228-2012 looks perfectly gorgeous. It looks great on the both of us and I hope that sugar spice and everything nice will get himself the same one too. The colour of the spectacles looks so old-fashioned in the picture that I took from Rayban official website but once you put it on, it looks fantastic! The colour doesn't really shows up and plus, the lens is really anti-glare which is perfect for day-light usage. One last thing, the size of it are big like my shades! At least I don't have to wear on my contact lenses because sugar spice and everything nice's dad discourage me from wearing stuffs that could damage my eyes. So sweet..! (=

And, I told you he looks fantastic with my Rayban glasses...! Anyway, I've got billions of stuffs to update but, I shall save it for some other times right?! C'ya!

IGNORANCE PAY THE PRICE!

2012-01-11T12:25:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, ignoring only means you have understood the problems and its consequences. Don't tell me I've never warned you about this. Don't blame it on other people, blame it on your slutty mindset. Since you choose to ignore and not doing anything about it, you'll bear with the consequence. Not much actually... Just this..

Click to enlarge of course.. (:

Hello 2012!

2012-01-03T00:35:00.008+08:00

I really hope that I'm not too late to welcome 2012 to my blog..! I'm glad that I managed to celebrate countdown with sugar for the second time. The only difference is that we get to dance! And in fact, that's my first time dancing with him! Then, we thought of drinking but sugar changed his mind last minute. Boohoo. )= We reached home around 6, eat then sleep. Sugar told me that, that is the last time we will be going for party as we need to settle down. Well, we shall see about that. Probably next year? *winks* Oh btw.. Fireworks display was epic! Love it! [Pictures are with sugar therefore, I'll re-blogged this post once I've received those pictures from him] (= My resolution has always been the same throughout years. I pray that the new year will be much better than the previous year. I only hope for the best for myself and those close to my heart.

Sayang... We will be celebrating our second year in 12.12.12! What a date?! That's pretty unique! And on top of that, we'll also be celebrating our Twenty first this year. Gosh! We are slowly aging and what makes it seem fast, is time. Haha.. Cute! Love ya!

Merry Xmas!

2011-12-25T01:24:00.016+08:00

I really do had a great time with my man just now. Yeah, after so long of not having an outing with kakak and abang especially the little prawn, Nurin. And finally we had an outing and we went to town. (: I wish that I'm super rich that I could get any branded goods whenever I want it. As for now, I'm only capable of having Chanel number shit. Haha. I guess I have to wait till I end my occupation as a student and start on with a career so that, I can enjoy my twenties as a fashionista! (Like real...) Well, if that makes me feel pretty hot than why not. For those who didn't quite get what I meant, I'm not self-praising myself I'm just being someone which has too high self-esteem.. How? Can?

Well that's all for this post. Tkcr

Dont play with fire or you'll get burnt.

2011-12-22T23:38:00.004+08:00

Truthfully... I've been stalking your fiancee because he got the look but sadly he fell for someone as ugly as you. Why mat why...?? You don't deserve someone so fat sia... Wth is wrong with your eyes? You can get someone better you know? I hope you didn't get the same treatment as my boyfriend. Like somehow getting forced into being in a relationship with her. You know how he got into a relationship with her...?? Let me tell you. She was there waiting for my boyfriend when he's still with his previous ex and she was there all the way till they broke off. She was super into my boyfriend at that period of time. She even go to the extend of forcing my boyfriend to pick up her calls because she came up with a random and weird plan of singing a song from 'Apit' while her brother played the guitar. That's weird especially when you go to the extend of doing that to someone whom regard you as a friend. Haha... After that my boyfriend went to school and show several pictures of girls who he knew and he ask for comment or rather suggestion. Everyone disagree about him going on with her because you know... She's huge. Well... Ya. So that's how it started. After they got together, there's one lame issue about her that I got to know. She went telling everyone about my boyfriend mafia shit. That shows how pathetic she can be. I do mix around too but I don't go guuguugaga over having someone in my life that is or used to be in a mafia shit. I emphasis on this because I want you to be aware that she don't really go for the heart you see? She goes for those bull-shit thing so as to make other get fearful of her when apparently she looks scary but not scary-scary but scary of an ugly montrous. A big one of course. I had no issue with her hut I had issue with her for still keeping on to those pictures that are filled with guys which include my boyfriend. Like, you both are getting married and you wouldn't want your wife to be slutty enough to have her picture display to the public with different guys in it right? I do have friends who are in the same team as yours and I'm still asking around for your contact. Well I know where your team always slack around you see because last time I do mix aroundy with your team and I'm close to one of them who ride big super4, a tall tanned skin skinny guy with a very fat minah as his gf (doubly fatter than your fiancee of course) Well I do ride a lot on people's bike last time but I don't get fucked you see. So, my boyfriend will do the talking very very soon. Taking care..

Baby...I'm Twenty!

2011-12-19T12:22:00.005+08:00

I'm no longer a teenager and I miss being one.. )= I remember when I was Ten, I used to count years till I'm officially a teenager and when I'm a teenager, I can't wait till the day I'm Twenty. Now that I'm twenty, I miss being a young kid. Somehow, I just don't understand how my mind works. For those who wishes me on my birthday, thank you so-so much! I miss having Facebook where I'll expect to receive over hundred wishes for my birthday. Apparently, Facebook can really help in reminding its user about the upcoming birthday. My prince still disagree on the idea of us having a Facebook account as he didn't want to create any more problems for us and as we all know, Facebook is now the new Tagged. Those filthy despo Mats and Minahs who use to conquer Tagged have now abandoned Tagged for Facebook. I have a Tagged account last time and I de-activate it couple of days after. *Tak boleh tahan manzz!* Mat-Minahs with the 'REPS' are everywhere! So ya.. No more Facebook for us. Oh anyway! Prince's family celebrated my birthday at his house yesterday and I feel so blessed. Thank you my dear love for the surprise plan.. Teehee~! Here are all the pictures:

The reason why I wore Tudong was because I followed his parent to attend some religious class in the evening and prince suddenly became so religious. Haha! I love to see when he starts praying. Seriously! Baby... can I have one wish for my birthday? Can you sing for me 'My song' tonight...? And can you promise me that you will never stop loving me.. Can? Can? TY baby...!! Wtv special day that we'll be celebrating, you are still the best gift I've ever received. Sayang you b! *hugs*

Oh... I can be nasty. (:

2011-12-18T04:37:00.015+08:00

I don't have any issues with my boyfriend having a Minah-rep girlfriend in his past. But if his Minah-Rep ex-girlfriend still bothers stalking my blog even after a year plus has passed, then that became an issue for me. I've tried my best to hide her identity from my other blog readers by voicing out my disatisfaction about her indirectly so that she'll understand and simply fuck off from my blog. Apparently, she just doesn't understand BASIC English and she still have the dignity to even continuously read up on my blog after all that happened. I've known all the shit that she has done, her stupidity of not being able to understand simple explanation, her weird pedofile actions towards kids, how she disrespect the deceased by making a reason out of the dead person so as to escaped from getting a scolding session, how she didn't appreciate the love that was given by my boyfriend and I just know so many things about her! I even know how my boyfriend dumped her and how she cried so badly with a hope that he'll accept her back. I even know her ex-ex-ex....... boyfriend. Something about being too easy to get?

It takes a lot to be a 'supergrrl' but being a "super-heroine" with no dignity is useless. You got insulted by me and my boyfriend... Don't you feel embarrased enough to refrain yourself from stalking someone's blog who currently belong to someone in your past? You are no longer a girl, you are a lady and a true well-mannered lady wouldn't let her impression down. I'm not trying to bring back the past but the main issue is, after all that happened, why do you still bother to stalk my blog? After a year plus that I've been through with my boyfriend, you still hadn't gotten over him ah? You ever once send him a "congrats" PM on his MSN when you are already attached to your current man, still hadn't got yourself enough is it? Stop stalking my blog or this matter I'll pursue it on to your current man. Don't try me. I know alot about IT and the reason why I know the stalker is you.. It's because, I've detected your IP address and made some codings to it, for it to detect its exact location.

I would rather let go of my past and start living in the present and the future because I find it much more worthy. In fact, I wouldn't want to risk my future because of my past. If you know what I mean? I'm pretty sure you'll do something about it because if it gets to your man, it wouldn't be nice because he'll probably be unhappy with you for sure. Start to change for the better and don't futher demoralised yourself. (:

Oh btw.. Ini lagi best! Pelan2 ah scroll to the right. I'll have it on display okay? You even know my cousin...? That's even amazing! (:
http://s307.photobucket.com/profile/supergrrlina/uploads#!cpZZ1QQtppZZ20

After a year and months passed and you still keep those pictures for?

Happy Anniversary!

2011-12-12T01:43:00.007+08:00

Sayang, thank you for all the love, care, comfort and sincerity that you have been showering me with endlessly. I feel so blessed to have you as someone so special in my life; someone, much more valuable than just being special. It's our first year together and I really wish that we can start off with a new chapter. We've been through so much within a year and I admit that our relationship is not all smooth sailing but I'm honestly glad that we've stayed this strong even up till today. I just want you to know that no matter what happened, I will never stop loving you and I want you to be the last guy that I'll share my life with till my last breath. No one could ever replace you because you've been the best guy I've ever met since the beginning and when we first got together, I really thought that your sweetness wouldn't be forever. However, a year has passed and you just get even more sweeter than ever. I love you baby and I'll be loving you for eternity. In God's Will. Happy Anniversary Sayang.. You are totally one in the million and you the best I ever had. *XOXO*
"Time swift and little did I realised that Shahidayat has turn one today!"

(My super cute flower Clip and Ring. - Bought by: My Sweetheart!)

(Cool stuff... a way to lead to a healthy lifestyle. Our very own Bicycle!! Still in the process of modifying. I want our name, air-brushed on it. -Bought by: My Sweetheart!)

And the best of the best; the totally unexpected....

(Suprise Agreement made at exactly 12 midnight on 12th December. *Click on it to have a clearer view on the words typed down by baby. -Done by: My Sweetheart! *while in camp*)

Once again, thank you honey! Much appreciated! Love ya!

I'm a busy lady.

2011-12-08T13:08:00.005+08:00

Work-load are like super packed and it left me being dis-organised. I have my FYP to complete as my mid-term evaluation wasn't as satisfying. I have many talks to attend to in order to complete my CE points before semester ends. I have to do a lot of revision for my upcoming test. I will have to get it all done by this month. Gosh! That's a lot of task to take note of. Perhaps, I need to work on my time management, probably it will help me lessen the burden that I'm carrying. Oh btw... I've finished reading my Malay novel! I love how it all come to end. People dying while the main character live happily ever after... So Ty-pi-cal... Most importantly, is that I've picked useful values that I've obtained after reading it. I finally understood that: "The happiness that we received now may not be the same happiness that we'll obtain in times to come. It's through facing those downturns in life, that we'll discover our true happiness. On top of all, Allah loves us all and he has plan for all of us to gain what is best in our life."

Oh... prince charming is having problem in camp and I really hope he has resolved it. I can't wait to meet up with him tommorow. We gonna cycle home from CCK? Boleh kurus tak agak2? haha~! Jauh crazy tu...! Baby... lagi empat hari lagi kite da setahun bersama-same. I sayang you b... Sungguh!

Frigging Psychopathic Stalker

2011-12-06T22:07:00.007+08:00

(There's more of the same users but this is whatever that I've snapshot. The first picture was in today's feed while the second one was yesterday's. Click picture to enlarge.)
This is what we call a real stalker! Who the fuck get so engross of wanting to know of what's happening in my life? It's been two to three days that I left my blog empty with any updates and there goes the same stalker constantly view my blog with a hope of a new post. The reason why I snap this particular user is because, this user often visit my blog EVERY SINGLE DAY without fail and it can be any of my school-mates neither will it be my own boyfriend. Bother to know how I can confirm that this particular user are not those people who I have mentioned? Look... the same user has been using 'Firefox' as his/her internet browser and using a PC which was installed with 'Window XP' operating system. Why I dare say it's not any of my school-mates? Because.... in my school, for you to be able to use the school system your PC need to have an update to the operating system to AT LEAST 'WINDOW 7 Home edition' for it's compatibility. I'm using 'Google Chrome' as my internet browser and my operating system is 'Window 7 Ultimate'. Even those loan laptops that the school provide for the students whose laptop crash etc, have an updated OS of Window 7. And it can't possibly be my boyfriend, because he can't be carrying his laptop around and constantly viewing my blog when he's with me. I kind of suspect who. Even if I know it's the same person who love testing my patience ever once, I shall just pretend that I do not know who is it. Look... I took up a Business + IT course at once and definitely I know more in-depth information about both, IT and business. So you filthy pest can stop playing with a stupid machine if you junks are stupider than the machine itself. Just don't make it too obvious lah next time huh?

Another issue:
I don't understand Minahs nowadays. I don't understand why they just can't get over with stalking someone from their past. Don't they feel that there's a need to just completely evacuate from bothering about the past? If I'm Hidayat's means I'm his and I don't bother what is happening to the people IN MY PAST what? I also don't go stalking about my ex through internet to know more about the in-thing that is happening in his life with his new partner what? If you fucking love and if you are happy with your current man, then you shouldn't even bother about your past am I right? And worse! if you are getting married! For once! please think rationally. Stop bothering about others if it's none of your concern. I bet whatever that I've just said didn't ring a bell. I dare your man to view my blog and I'm pretty sure he'll understand why I bring up this issue. If I were him also... I'll feel so fucked up if this is the attitude that my gonna-be wife is initiating. What would you feel if you got to know that your man stalk his ex-girlfriends' blog and keep looking at all her current pictures every single day? Let me tell you something... deny all you can... you are not REALLY over the past yet. You are in a situation whereby you are forced to accept reality although it hurts and you find someone else to love you as a substitute. If you are really keen to find a true love, right after a break up, you won't rush to find another guy after you fail to get back to your ex. A true love will come by itself. If you forced it from the start.. even if you are getting married tommorow, you won't feel the true connection cos it's fake from the start only that you covers it and made believe that it is true. Just like what my hubby said to me, "Getting married is not like being into a relationship in which you can choose to break up as and when you like. People don't bother about how fast you are getting married but more to knowing what comes after getting married." Have a stand in life and that's it! That is what those mats and minahs are lacking with in their life. (: Seriously, I had enough.

6/12 = 1/2 to12/12!

2011-12-06T20:41:00.005+08:00

Exactly 6 more days to our first anniversary! I can't wait! B and I will be looking forward to our special day. Yeah~! I can smell victory. . . *winks* There isn't much to update as life for the both of us, has been going great as per normal. Syukur Alhamdulilah..

It's hard to believe sometimes that we've gone through this far... It's tremendously fast. Baby... can I have one wish for our first year? No.. I expect no other gift except for your never ending love towards me. In fact, the best gift I have ever received in my life is, NurHidayat Bin Mohd Kassim (simply yourself). The most valuable elements that you can find in this world, are not as valuable as the endless love that I've received from you ever since 12th December 2010. Can we make a new resolution for the both of us and implement whatever that we have learnt through those ups and downs; So as to make our relationship even sweeter than how it first started?? I want to be the best for the both of us. I hereby swear in the name of Allah that I love you so eternally much for there's not once, my feelings for you fade and on top of all, I'm proud to be yours truly special someone.. In god's will, if there's still love in our heart for each other... We'll go far together even in the future, up till the day we were both old. (:

Counting Down.... ((:

Around The Corner!

2011-12-03T00:53:00.008+08:00

Here's the picture of us and our hand-made key-chains; the one I mentioned about in my previous post?
Yes! this one:

Special thanks to baby's daddy. Eee~ Suke! Suke! Suke! Anyways... Baby is on his way back home from my house and I still can't get enough of having him around although I'll be meeting him again at 6 in the morning. I'll be going for his camp's open house and I can't wait to take lots of pictures tommorow but sadly I can't publish the photos on any website because it's prohibited. Neh... So sad! ): I will have the chance to take a look at his workplace and in addition to it, I'll be doing some cleaning up at baby's area specially for him! I bet none of the other girls will do the same thing that I'll be doing tommorow. Futhermore, baby told me that I have more privileges as compared to the other visitors who will be coming. Now, that makes me special!! Awww... so proud of myself. (: As we all know... Our first anniversary is just around the corner! Counting days to our special day. Ouh! I can even count it with my fingers! How amazing... haihhhh... Thank you Allah...!! It is in your will that we've been through this far. Thank you so eternally much for giving me the chance in life to be able to feel the love from, NurHidayat Bin Mohd Kassim, a wonderful - most grateful man I've ever met. I love you my dear sweet loving with a 'hand got burned' boyfriend. Oh sayang.. you left your cream at my house btw. Remind me to bring your cream tommorow. (L) Baby... can you just leave your smart 4 with me? Can I have it? Got your smell ah... I always took your shirts maciam boring ah cos the smell will go off within few days. I confiscate it from you can? Tommorow you go back camp half-naked ah..! Like hot hunk what like that... Okay can? (:

Ps: Baby... My blog song how? You like or not...? hehehe ur favourite! (:

Greetings To All December Babies!

2011-12-01T11:24:00.003+08:00

Love them all...!! *muacckkkkssss* These pictures were taken during baby's dad's family day event. Baby can't resist to be around me all the time he even "cancel his intention to go camp".. But in reality, you can choose not to go camp as and when you like meh..? Some more so suddenly..! I can go alone with them you know baby... Hahaha.. Serve you right! *Neh* B and I got ourselves key-chain with our drawn face in it and pictures taken! (We'll upload the picture of the cute key-chains soon) It's like our little sweet souvenirs. Then we went to Titanic museum. It's time to sail through winter season yeah?!

It's first of December and I'm can't wait to end my teenager life. And mum... I'm soon to be TWENTY! I'm so excited! Honestly, I've never regretted being a teenager although my teenage life isn't all smooth sailing. Thank be to Allah for all the test he has put me through to transform me into a better person and for letting me discover and understand more to life. I'm like half-way through celebrating my old time? Time swift before I even get to realize it. That is scary! Ok... So Happy Birthday to all the December babies.

My life has been going downhill lately and situation faced, seems to get pretty messed up. I may still smile and laugh like a happy kid but I'm suffering deep inside my feelings and thoughts. I'm not strong enough to face all these obstacle, I really need to have the strong will and on top of all, I need to be extremely patience. The whole load that is burdening me now are unbearable. I think I should start praying to get a peace of mind or rather I'd prefer to have someone that I'm comfortable with sharing my problems to. Sometimes, fate left me alone in complete anxiety. What step should I take next? Every steps I took to reach the goal set in my life became close to impossible. I need help really. I need someone who could spare me their listening ears at every problems that I'm facing and keep their comment to themselves. ):

I'm definitely am over with friends' issue. I'm ending school soon and I had no problem losing friends. Only that I find it hard to forget those people who have been with me throughout my poly life, who has been there for me through ups and downs although they aren't my 'best-friends'. I'll sacrifice all of it in the name of 'love'. I don't do it because of my baby. I don't do it to satisfy any needs or expectations. I do it because I trust that he'll stand up to his words and promises made for us and that, he'll be with me for eternity. It's hard to trust words especially when we had no string attached and we still had a very long journey ahead. Any thing may happened along the way no matter how perfect I want my relationship to be because I'm aware that God is always there to test the strength of our love. It's through all those test, that we'll determine if we are suitable for each other. It's hard... really... I don't know... I don't understand but I do care to know what should I do to maintain the position that we are at now. I hate to take things lightly as I'm really serious in devoting myself in this relationship. Ahhh.... I've been thinking all day, all night and nothing changes. ): I'm super sad lah.... I need you sia baby... I love you so much. Knowing that you are still with me despite facing downturn, loving me and treating me like how you used to from the start are what make me feel so happy! I've loved you, love you and never will I stop loving you! I'm proud to be yours truly, baby. It feels like I'm in heaven! Bahhhh~! hahaha (:

And ohh! Eh ah girl ah... I know lah you my ex's current girlfriend, but you don't have to stare at me like as though I just killed your mother mah?? Naaaa...beh! Do my life look like a bar for free-flow faggots? Freaking faggot! eee~! Pui..! _|_ Your spiral bee-hive hair sucks big time though. I don't fucking care if you are taller than me you bitch! Come, come... read my blog! (:

Popularity

2011-11-28T23:16:00.003+08:00

Being known to the world, i am proud to say i appreciate your sincere effort to visit this blog more frequent than visiting ur late ancestors grave. Thankful being alive, do appreciate those who care and love you more before the scent of death surrounds your soul and rips it away from earth. Do not, i say again, do not waste this precious moments you have, stalking this lyrical, magical and wonderful blog of my beloved.

Confused enough? I'm her one and only stated beloved of this life that requires no other earthling to be concern of her punctuality, health nor anything regardless of the importance of thee conversation. Do read and understand the above mentioned as further implications will result in a hectic decision.

Not including those moments where unnecessary company that i revulse of seeing.

She does not have any friends in her life. Know the definition of 'friend' before the usage of english became meaningless. Abandoning the structure of sentences does not abide the rules of language. Therefore, as stated, i will be her only friend whom i acknowledge her of having as i fully understand the proposition of the particular noun.

Signing off.
Nurhidayat BMK

Shattered into pieces

2011-11-28T00:51:00.003+08:00

Hi again.. Updates..? Well, let's just save it for the next post shall we? I want to share something about myself. Something I've never mentioned about in any of the post in my blog. It's about the 'not so good thing' about me. I do admit that I ain't perfect and I do made a lot of uncountable mistakes too as I'm a human being myself. My life isn't as perfect as you think. I do face problems that at times, I couldn't manage it myself without the help of the people around me. I'm the kind of person who loves to set rules and regulation that only implies to the other party but not to myself. I know that's an act of being selfish. Honestly, I've been doing this since last time and I've gotten myself into trouble, putting my relationship at stake. I'm that big-headed and egoistic and it has always been the other party to give in even though I was wrong. I know I've caused so many disappointment and created many problems. I'm just too paranoid especially when I'm in love. It's because I love him too much that I couldn't bear to see him walk off from my life. It's painful enough to see history repeat by itself having to see myself causing more hurt to the person I love. It has always been about friends-related problems. Having to reflect on what just happen, it isn't anyone's fault, it was my fault right from the start. I failed to lift up to all the promises that I've made on the first day we got together. I've learnt my lesson on the day I was admitted to the hospital last year. That is the day I woke up from my dreams in which I realised that no one could make me happy except for myself. No one understand me except for myself. No one knows how it is like being me. No one knows what problems I face with myself. No one knows anything about me. No one knows how to make me feel better inside. No one knows I'm crying inside. No one knows that I need them. I should stop controlling whatever he has been doing in his life. I wouldn't want to cling on to him too much cause he needs some space for his life. Who am I to him? I have no right to control his life... I'm just his girlfriend. I can't predict my future on who I'll be with at the same time I don't want to get hurt over the same issue. I know this would happened. I know if I stay on with those negative mindset, I'll lose him one day.

Baby... I'm sorry for doing things that I asked you not to do. I Love you...! I need to rest... I'm having bad headache. Night!

Right Up In Our Future List

2011-11-26T00:50:00.007+08:00

Oh My Greatest GOD..! Baby, do you see that in the picture?! Yes the one that I'm refering to! She's so adorable isn't she? Her sexy figure really gave me the strong temptation to touch her all over. She'll love it too if you could get your hands all over her. She has this natural-like look to make anyone go crazy over to have her in one's life. Ahhh baby... she has the capability to make me feel so high and happy when I look at her. If I'm given the chance to grab her, trust me... I'll grab her hard and I'm never letting her go. I'll took great care of her and I'll ensure she'll have the best spa treatment ever. She has always been my favorite. You even told me that she look cool from the front view. None of the others look quite like her and she's definitely unique. Of course, she's California Volkswagen 2008 beetle car! What do you expect? She's totally amazing lah please! Haha. Baby... you asked me to be patience and we'll save lots and lots of money to have her as OUR car and if we have some extra cash, we can even have the plate number to be a short combination of our names! Super sweet right? Than that we'll be our car used for our wedding ceremony. OMG! Baby.... *hug* There's a long journey ahead of us, we can do anything to shape and colour our relationship in the future to be filled with more love. I can't wait to be truly yours. I swear I love you so damn much!! *Muuuuuuuah*

Gue Capek Banget Sik!

2011-11-25T13:33:00.005+08:00

I didn't sleep the whole night yesterday... I'm damn sleepy in class and my body feels so warm. I think I'm having fever probably because of the weather. Furthermore, today I'm having advance Mathematics module and I screw my entire mood to do all those complicated calculations. I love Maths but I'm just not in the mood and I'm not feeling so well at the same time. I feel super lethargic. God.... I wanna get out from this class asap and I want to meet up with baby so badly. Miss him like so effing much.. ): I hate it when I have to force myself to stare at my laptop screen blankly not knowing what are the things that I can do other than going through my worksheet. Fuck lah... FML! Everything get so disoriented; Everything seems to be fallen apart and it's all up to me to put everything back into its original place.. I think too much and I'm just too exhausted. Even if I didn't do anything wrong, I'll received the best scolding ever. Ya! It's that bad and it's like as though I've just killed someone. I don't deserve to be screamed at for something that I didn't do what? When I retaliate to stand up for what is right, I was accused of being rude. Oh bloody hell, that's is super unfair! Sometimes, some people will just have to learnt on how to show off their anger at the right time, the perfect place and the correct targeted someone. Everyone does have their own limitation and when they have reached to their maximum, they'll start to vent their anger un-control-ably. That isn't what it's like from the start! You expect me to just keep my mouth shut while you do all sorts of stuff as an anger relieve session. Oh I see... So I'm not supposed to speak up and have a say for my own? Oh I didn't know I was born to be a dumb log? I know I'm ego and I just want to win in any argument but who doesn't want to feel it at times. You are angry for some stupid reason that I really do not have any idea what I've just did. I know you care to much about me, but how long have you known me? But this is not the right way.. You'll slowly drift us to nowhere and it's only about time that everything will go down the drain. Stop it k... I love you so much... too much indeed. I cannot tolerate anymore bad treatments towards me... I've brought myself up when I fell, than you came and rid those pains away you made me feel belonged and I believe that you are the only one that I'll trust to take care of me. You know how painful it is to transform from a weak person to a person who are firm to surpass through those toughest obstacle? I kept so much of rage in me and that I'll discriminate myself inside every time I feel like crying, I've let my ego took control of the way I think. I learnt so much when I fell, that's when I realised that I could be someone much better than whoever I used to be. Now a days, I hate to look at those girls who cried like fuck because of someone who is unappreciative of the love that was given to them. I always see it as being plain stupid and portraying an act of stupidity. Why love someone who doesn't loves you anymore? Why care about someone who doesn't even bother about you? Why stick with someone when you know that it's only a matter of time that he'll be gone? Why have that mindset of not having the capability of finding a better replacement when you have the capability to flirt around and get guys so fucking easily (when girls flirt indirectly and portraying the true image of an ideal women, guys gets attracted to them even how fuggly they can be)? Now you know why you often see Skinny guys walking around with their FATTISH girlfriend? Aww so sweet right... I know. You can go to club and dance the hell off, get laid and there comes the guys... (: See! Guys might treat ladies like slut, but they are just so stupid to fall for the ladies' made up slutty behavior. Some guys wants to be with pretty girls but most of them had that "What a fucking shit! Is that a fucking mole on your face?!" kind of look. It's a win-win situation am I right? Oh back to the topic, I hate it when girls especially those Minahs came crying to me, telling me a grandfather story on how they've got dumped after the guys releases their temptation. I swear, I'm disgusted by it. So ya... I've changed for my own good! Ok I'm out of idea on how to continue my story... I suck in paragraphing and story structuring. Lazy to read back whatever I've typed down also... K ah Bye! I'm meeting my 'every-time scold me for no reason' BF later! He has gotten two days off! How awesome?! Hahaha! I bet he's still happily snoring and creating stinky waterfall in his crib. So I must travel all the way to Tampines again? Pffftt~! -__-

Gamelan Music Soothes My Ears

2011-11-24T15:46:00.005+08:00

Baby agreed in following me to see my Aini's kude kepang keluaran at Toa Payoh Garden this coming Sunday...!! She ask if I can come for their show. Gosh! It's been so long since the last time I've seen their show. 'Nazri Entertainment' Rocks Yeah..! Miss you all! Bahhhh~! So happy!! But i'll just go there for a while I think... I don't know. It all depends on baby if he wants to stay longer.

Hello!

2011-11-23T01:47:00.021+08:00

I love this shit manxx... Please let me through these painful moment one more time... Awesome transformation... Haha... I lost 13KG at less than 2 week...! I look so sick in this picture... I know right?! This picture was taken in KTPH last year. I think I should start it all over again.. What do you think? Hahaha

I Less Than 3 U

2011-11-21T10:36:00.008+08:00

means I love u. (:

Xoxo,
Shasha

PMS!

2011-11-21T00:40:00.006+08:00

I had an awesome happy-moody weekend with Babylove. Happy to be able to have him around with me for more than 24 hours and that itself is truly awesome!

Moody because I'm having my monthly PMS symptoms. Bloody hell... I get mad at baby for no reason, I'll find fault for no reason, I'll get angry about stuff that I had no issue with and I'll just flare up at him for no bloody reason. Well, that is super saddening because everything just seems so dull or un-interesting and conversation just bores me to hell. Worse, I flare up at him about GAMES and my stomach hurts pretty much even after swallowing different types of panadols into my stomach. I hate it when I have all the PMS but somehow I just know of the outcomes. Especially when I complain to my baby that:

- My face gets so uncontrollably oily which causes pimple to pop-out

- My craving to munch all those junk foods even after we've just had our meal.

- I'm having such a bad head-ache/migraine

- I'm feeling completely dizzy

- I've gain weight

- I'll be hyper-active.

- I get so tired and agitated; in which I'll have the tendency to skipped class half-way and not getting my work done properly.

- I'll complain to him about my swollen tender breast and when it hurts when I lightly touch it! *sigh* (: Oh btw, 'tender' in this sentence doesn't have anything to do with chicken patty, it only means that it's sore and painful. So please cut that negative and dirty mindset of yours.

But... Having my period wouldn't ruin my entire weekend last week. On Saturday; Baby, myself and my younger brother went to mummy's and friend's barbecue pit at Pasir Ris. It's somewhat like a family gathering. But... we (Baby, myself and my younger brother) went cycling from one end to another end of the park instead. We do have our own sweet enjoyable moment to ourselves. We even went on to cycle in the swamp when the sun is just about to set, we'll just have to ride the bike with the help of that little light from the sky and best, we took the courage to walk through the swamp in pitched dark when we are on our way home. Thanks to our twin HTC phones right honey? Baby wanted to overnight so much but my mum didn't let us because I've got too many mud-stain on the back of my cardigan. So baby overnight with me at my house! The following day, after we had our breakfast at my house, I followed him back to his house. There are a few Malay wedding ceremonies being held around his house area and the one right under his void deck is the most irritating ones. They played too many Hindi songs. So I was just wondering if this is a new wedding trend among the Malay communities? It's super irritating till it rains heavily. Wrong choices of songs for a wedding ceremony sia... Big big mistake!

Oh... Honey, I love you so much! XOXO~! Goodnight, sweet-dream, sleep-tight, loving you for eternity.

In Deepest Melancholy

2011-11-17T20:55:00.011+08:00

I want to be with someone whom I can trust, in which I have nothing to fear about being hurt. Why can't this world be just perfect? I hate facing situations that might bring my morale down and it causes myself to have so many doubts in my life. I don't understand why do you have to love that someone when you intend to hurt him/her at the end of the day? Maybe, you will only appreciate that someone's presence only when that person is gone. Sometimes, the universe left me wondering about the true meaning of life and the true meaning of those who truly loves me. Is there anyone who can stop me from being in a stage of deepest melancholy? Perhaps nobody.

Woalaaa

2011-11-15T04:47:00.005+08:00

I have no idea what's with my eyes nowadays... I woke up at 4am and till now, I can't sleep. I'm done with my school works that I'm supposed to submit it at 7:59am sharp this morning. I'm all stressed up about exams after school and completing all the task for my FYP mid-term evaluation this Thursday. God... Year three is the most stressful period throughout the my years in Poly. I've forgotten how I fell asleep last night while enduring with the massive headache and asthma attack that I have. I remembered calling baby on the phone and he singing for me the song he created for me with an intention to help me calm me down when I'm having difficulty to breath. It does help in ridding my asthma away... I do had an asthma attack when I feeling too warm, under the hot sun for too long for instance. Also, when I think too much and gotten myself all stressed up about it, that's where naughty asthma start to come. (: I hate it when I'm too caught up with something. It makes me have this negative thoughts towards my baby and I'll un-intentionally start an issue with him. Just like yesterday... but luckily baby took it lightly and tries to make an explanation so that I'll understand. Still... whatever that I've said are based on facts what? It's something that I think what.. Basically, I weren't be in the right mind when I'm too stress up. Sorry baby and please get well soon dear honey. Why do we have to *jinx* all the time...? Why can't there be any moment whereby you stop following me or I'll stop following you to do stuff or face the same situation together? Scary. It's like, you just had a flu and I'm feeling alright. Than all of the sudden, within minutes, I will start having those flu symptoms too and it gets worse the day after. It might be that it's 'Fated'? (:

Let's make the whole post seems a bit cocky here, shall we? Let's randomize the topic in this post or rather, let's jump off from the previous topic... Woalaaaa...! Have you ever feel so insecure when you are in a relationship? Probably because you fear of getting betrayed or stabbed-in-the back? Perhaps if he leaves you for another woman? Or maybe because you fear that he'll broke his too many little 'convincing' promises made? Ladies are vulnerable to constant mood-swing because they love to think so much about the future and if they have accepted to love and trust someone who used to be a stranger in her life, then these ladies will spare their time thinking of what that man had done throughout his life in the past. Some people convey to let the past remained in the past but you see, sometimes the past is what you have become now. It's because of the past, you became more aware of your surroundings and situations that may causes history to repeat by itself. As a result, ladies will constantly find an answer to convince themselves and so, they will find any ways to get the answers from their man so that they will be assure of their true inner feelings towards him.

Honestly, I wouldn't say that my relationship with NurHidayat is totally perfect. If we are that perfect, than I don't find any reason why we do have to quarrel at times. In my eyes, we are close to perfect and he's all that I've ever wanted. He really does treat me like how a lady should be treated. On top of that, I've known how his past was like etc.. However, I shall not take it that I've really known who NurHidayat really is, because knowing about his past from his own account doesn't determine any specific prove that I've known every thing about his true self what right? Who knows maybe he exaggerated some parts of it? Or hide some part of it too? (Haha... No lah... I'm just making that out okay precious?..) Each day is the process of me knowing you better... I've never trust any guys as much as I trust him but still I don't trust him completely not until we were married. See! I'm being honest! I demand that in this relationship, he'll never stop proving to me that he really does love me from the bottom of his heart and he'll do just anything to ensure that our relationship wouldn't fall apart. More like I demand than I expect, it's a better term used when you want to really emphasized on something. I can only pray to Almighty Allah that our love will sail through life's roughness journey and surpass through any obstacles together for eternity. Allah is the greatest one who knows who I'll be with in the future. Therefore now, everything remains neutral; After all, it's the best way to welcome yourself with many wonderful surprises.

I have many old-girlfriends that are/were pregnant at such a young age(teenager) as a result of pre-marital sex that they had with their 'boyfriends'. Some relationship was super romantic at first and their relationship starts off completely sweet-loving moment until... the girl found out that she's pregnant. Normally for woman who are pregnant especially when they are not yet married, their insecurities level are way higher than mine manxx.. And their boyfriend will show off signs of reluctance to accept the baby and these sole losers will start showing off their 'true colours'. They will only continues to be with that girl only after he knew the baby is gone. Or some nice-hearted ladies whom have the guts to face her own problems and took the initiative to accept the innocent live in her life.. the guys will just go enjoy their happy moment hanging out with his friends or go hanky-panky with another woman; Leaving the girl taking up all the responsibilities alone. I think through these unexpected tragedy that happened, a lady might eventually realised if her man truly loves her and if her man is responsible enough for his act. As for me, that's the only time if you can see if your man do have the fucking balls to face situation like that. Non-married men are irresponsible by nature.. They have big dreams- big dick but a tiny gut. Dare to tell me that I'm stereo typing the true ideal of a man? This is what commonly happen in today's society, only that some men ain't choice but to marry the girl because the baby is already more than 3 months old in the stomach, and the feautus had already form the physical shape. Whether if it's love or infatuation, it's totally up to the guys... I've found this in a British encyclopedia on the net. No... it was on the latest news lah under Lifestyle section... When couple have sex... "The woman takes it as 'making-love' or a way of bonding their love as one. But for the man, it's all about having sex or pleasure." So now... is it love or infatuation? Guys take girls heart so lightly and worse they treat them like sluts. Moral of the story is... "Don't be stupid and start opening up your eyes. You are putting yourself at stake!"

Okay... I need to take my shower and I'm off to school...! Morning my precious Hidayat. Love you so effing much... Eat your medication and please dear love... do get well soon. I'm really looking forward to Wednesday. I'll toss myself up and cuddle in your arms... (:

Gossip!

2011-11-14T20:45:00.005+08:00

I were from a girls' school and typically, girls in a single-sex school gossip a lot more than those girls in the other school! They are like one whole bunch of bimbos gathering in several groups and starts gossiping about the 'in-thing'. But the not so good about being in these groups is having the ability to trust them. You might not know if they've just talked about you..! I have no idea how the girls in those government school hang out together. For we girls in a girls' school, coming to school is like going for a gossiping session and after school, we'll chill out in Starbucks and continue gossiping. I'm not really that kind of person as I believe, I still have my own unique identity. (: However, my high-school moment isn't a good one though cos I've always get myself into deep trouble outside but luckily I've gotten over the case; leaving my life without a clean record. Whatever shit I've done, I still don't forget about my studies ah... I reckon my innocent face doesn't prove it so much through my actions huh? It's not something I'm proud of also.. It just makes me harder to get jobs in the future I think..? I don't know I've forgotten what my baby told me about it. (Alaaa my precious also don't let me work when we had our first child(in the future! please!), so why should I bother in the first place..) Anyway... back to our topic about 'Gossiping'. I've never think about how my baby will feels every time I goes like this... "B... I ade secret nak share ni... nak dengar tak...? pasal 'ni ni ni'... nak...? *wriggle eyebrow*.." (Maciam auntie KPO ahhh!) So, he will be listening to all the "In-thing" that I've discovered.. I wonder what is in his mind every-time he listened to whatever that I'm saying? Eh eh? I will surely have something to say even today! Even though it will be better if I do my revision for tommorow's examination, still... I want to get whatever 'In-thing' that I've discovered about my favourite victim, out of my mind... Lalalala.... After all, Baby's daddy asked me to share whatever that I'm thinking or feeling to baby! Super sweet... Wakakaka... (:

I'm still in the process of changing to be someone better... Of course I've seen a big difference in the choices of clothing I worn. But behavioral and mentality wise, still needs some more times. I don't self-proclaim that I've changed until the people whom are close to my heart realised it for themselves. I'm no angel perhaps. I just need light of guidance from Allah. NurHidayat.. Mane you...?! I sayang you terlampau sangat tau... Sayang you mat. (Ermmm... kite nak complain ni...Baby panggil kite mat?) Hehehe everytime ah... comel.. No... I called you a 'matriach porch'. *giggles* Eeee~! Rindu you. Can't wait to meet you this coming Wednesday... Alahhh besok je baby da kol kite mcm stress sgt nak jumpe kite... hahahlalala... XOXOXOXOXOXO

Ps: I know gossiping about others is a sin and in fact the reason why most women enter hell's gateway is because of gossiping. But I can't help it sia... The 'In Thing' has been a monstrous wordy creature who had been haunting my life. Shooo please?

11 Months Of Love And Still Counting!

2011-11-13T11:48:00.009+08:00

Baby.... I've known you for exactly a year today!! And we've celebrated our 11th month at your house yesterday.... I love you I love you so much boyfriend! I love your family too..! Baby... kidnapped me please sayang? I nak stay at your house.. Your parent really taught me something about life that no one else has ever bother sharing it with me. They taught me how wonderful God's creations are. Honestly, you'll be attracted to how a true lady behaves. I've only seen a few these days, and I told baby how I even got attracted looking at how they talk, how they act etc. I got attracted you know?! And I'm a lady myself...! A true lady can even make people of the same gender attracted to her; Perhaps, it simply means they have the ability to drag more ladies into a world of lesbianism without any attempt to do so... Wait! I'm still straight ah! Gahahaha! But seriously... Those "ladies" you've seen outside ranging from those 'Minahs to Hip-on Party Girls', they are not acting like a lady but more of a slut or probably worse than that. Slut sell off their body but still gain profit from it, but these "ladies" are worse than those sluts because they let men touch their body freely without even getting paid and doing it with someone they know; Like, 'I free2 fuck you than I fuck off ah but I'll still be nice to you in case if I still feel like fucking you' that kind. Lalala... See! If any Minahs came up and said that they've changed, don't believe them until you can see it for yourself. After all, it's easy said than do.

I'll learnt how to be the best woman for you, for those we love and our future childrens and grand-childrens dear sayang InsyaAllah..Amin.

I'm digging out my closet to find if there are more proper clothes that could cover my bare skin. I can't even wear mini shorts! My baby will scold me like hell if he knew I'm wearing those revealing clothing. He'll say, "Hah da tak tau malu nak tunjuk semue orang kaki you tu? Da tak tau nak tutup lagi... hah?". Hah! Hah! Hah aje ah you ni! If in any days that he didn't get to book out and meet me, he'll call me and asked me of what I'm wearing to school. Sometimes I'm late to school so I'll rush things off what... Than wearing shorts are pretty convenience also (Quick shortie!). God damn it! haha... Yelah sayang I understand... It's for my own good also what..

(Ps: if you've realised, I've stopped calling my sweetheart 'Love' or 'beloved' because apparently, some people just don't seem to have some sense of originality. )

So... Who Am I Than?

2011-11-09T01:46:00.009+08:00

FUCKING HELL.....! Before I start flaring up about other stuffs, what's with a stalker frequently coming into my blog and imitate the way I speak? I can see a lot of changes from the way you structured your sentence in your blog and there are some sentences that you literally quote it from my blog and do a little bit of changes. Suddenly you sounded like me? EEEEWWWWWW.... I'm disgusted.. Fucking get your own sense of ownership lah. Fucking minah trying her best to portray a different image. Stop quoting words and sentences from my blog!! YOU LOOK THROUGH ALL YOUR PREVIOUS POST AND SUDDENLY EVERYTHING CHANGES.. YOU FUCKING CHEE-BAI! I fucking got to control my itchy fingers from making anymore updates.... I won't want to force my brain to think so hard to come out with words for my beloved and people use it freely as "their" own dedication to their love ones. Any stupid minahs who viewed my blog and learn how to use it in their own blogs, are fucking nymphos. Don't they realised that my "English" are more like "SINGLISH" but in a way it sounded so ENGLISH? Besar peh suar. Pui ah~! _|_ (Don't make me start all over again sia... I warned you first!) Do my blog looks like a 'LoveQuotes.com' girl? Let me gave you a suggestion... You want to make a confession to your love ones in your blog... Make it realistic enough so that when your love ones read it, he/she knows that you didn't literally took it from somewhere or think that "WOW, bini/laki aku punye english da baik ah... Maut siol." I mean confession is really something that comes from the bottom of your heart and if you are that pathetic to even quote it from the net, at least recognize the author by simply quote the sentence like this.. ("...") Stop faking lah annoying pussies. Fucking get a life you moron!

*SKIPPPPPP....!!!* (I've created a skit out out my imagination... Scroll below...)

(LET'S START!)
How I wish I have a best-friend who have known me for half-a-decade and how I wish I could tell her/him that, "You know what best-friend? No matter how much I've pretended to ditch us, I can't never deny the fact that you are much more special than my special girlfriend/boyfriend. At least she/he doesn't has to know it. Let's just live our life in pretense... You know I love you... You understand me more than my special someone. You know the in-and-out of me. And just to indirectly assure to my special someone that you are not forgotten, I could just forced my special someone to make her/himself repeat your name and who are you to me."

(continue)

BFF replies, "Oh... I know right... so how the hell you do that? Oh gosh... You know I know.. We may not verbally say it out directly to him/her... But in a way we know that you've treated your special someone like a fool."

(continue)

'ME WISH' said, "Hahaha... Tell me about it...! Btw, it goes like this... I'll ask him/her 'BFF' is my what? And she/he'll normally reply 'Friend'. Than again I ask... BFF is my what friend? She/he'll reply 'BESTFRIEND'. I did that most of the times at random moment of course as I did not want to make it obvious? Now you see why you are so much more special than she/he is? Because I've known you for HALF-A-DECADE! Tada!.." *XOXO~!*

Moral of the story... "No point doing good to someone who still finds an old faggot much more worthy than you are."

(THE END!)

Hahaha... funny right...?? I made this out but somehow I think it happened to me before... Hmmmmm... Maybe? In my dreams yo! (Ya...ya....) I wish I had that long relationship with anybody who are keen to be much more special than my special someone. But, in real-life circumstances, that's not how it works... I don't know... Ok... I shall blog about my bb in the next post. Night! Oh sorry... Morning Everyone! Have An Awesome Wednesday! I ain't class today maybe going back to school for FYP! Yeah!

Stomach Pain!

2011-11-08T13:38:00.002+08:00

I got a very bad stomach ache but baby never book out and meet me.... I'm sad... Ouchhh... * squeezing my stomach * Nahhh... it's fine with me if B can't book out today. At least I know he do still care about me. Anyway, I went to Orchid Garden with B and his family... I'm not into flowers but the most important part of the day is to be able to spend flowery moment with B's family. Ya... I've been spending most of my time with baby's family (every-single day) and I just wish that I can stay with them forever. They are such a wonderful precious people in my life, I feel so blessed. (:

Here's the picture:

Botanic Garden (Orchid Park) With Hearts.

Pictures??

2011-11-07T05:26:00.003+08:00

Here are all the links to view the pictures... Simply click on these small picture, it will direct you to the album. Ok here you go:

Baby's Parent's Anniversary Celebration And Cam-whore Night With Baby

1st Malaysia Trip With Baby's Family

3rd Malaysia Trip With Baby's Family

Well, I've did as I've promised, so stop bugging me. More pictures will be uploaded but too bad, this blog will be privatise soon enough before you even know it. Jyeah!

5 more days to be exact! (:

2011-11-04T16:11:00.013+08:00

I just came back from handsome's place. I have been coming almost every single day to his house; In fact, handsome will just keep on asking me to come over to his crib even tommorow. (Jadi-jadi eh sayang...) He's getting much more strict by days, he wants me to wear 'Tudong'and start covering myself up with proper clothing. He once said, "I wouldn't want my future wife's bare-skin to be shown freely to the public." He keep on emphasizing on why I should cover myself up. After all, it's all about respecting your own body and your dignity as a women. Yes... Mr. Handsome had a very conserve mind-set. He's very particular about choosing 'the perfect women' for himself (Oh well.. I'm saying this in general right!?). Un-expected? Tell me about it. *smile* Ah.... Anyone wants my mini-shorts and my bare-back-cleavage-obscene sleeves? I can give it away for FREE!! Ah no! I shall keep it and wear it anytime I feel like I wanna feel " ROMANTICALLY SEXY". Hahaha... No please... Thanks. I nak bertaubat~ Pray 5 Times A Day Is A MUST ahhh. My Mom always tell me not to be like those... "Budak taik." which simply refers to those extreme Mats and Minahs lah... (: Anyway.. I'm glad to have NURHIDAYAT as someone special in my life, someone that could even be my future husband (In Allah's will). He's gazillion times so much difference from other guys out there. He's intelligence and his brilliant form of speech are way beyond excellent! I love Mr. Handsome so much! By the way, we are close to celebrating our 11 months which only means that our one year will be just around the corner. Gosh! I'm more than excited manxx; I'm enthusiasted about it, about us about everything..!! Once again... I love you sayang... I love you so much I swear! *Muacckkkssss* I shall just end the post here as Handsome is wanting for my calls and eager to read my post. So, goodnight!

Can't wait to meet up with you tommorow dear.... (: Heart you the most...!

What's With You?

2011-11-03T15:58:00.006+08:00

I was late to school today and I'm lost the whole day not knowing what the heck my classmates is calculating... Don't know what dimension lah... basis lah.... simplified vectors lah... While I was struggling trying to understand today's problem statement, I read my school email and guess what..? One of my team mate started flaring up giving the team a very good scolding when she did the easiest task in the project. I really have no idea what's with her and why she's making the issue such a big fuss. I doubt she's having her period. -.- Bloody hell... I've stated all the problems faced from not knowing how to collage the ERD to why I'd have to keep cancelling all the meetings. If that one person who doesn't want to co-operate and who are being so in-decisive in planning on meet-ups (Like real), than don't pathetically blame it all on me lah! Since you've longed completed your tiny part of the work, than have some common sense to start doing the codes... Takmo banyak bunyi ah kalau da tak boleh tolong! _|_ I even took the initiative to meet up with the advisor and he's okay with it and what the fuck you want to flare up at people for no reason? Ape sia... perangai anjing pe kau? Ke attention seeker? Kirekan nak tunjuk semue orang kau buat kerje kau ah... Sial... dulu aku tak pergi meeting pon aku buat lagi banyak kerje dari kau ah lagiiii tak banyak bunyi. Lagi dulu kau yang leader pe, kau sebok kerje je pe... Report pon aku buat pe...? I got a fucking F for the previous FYP. Now, after all that happened, you still got the guts to fucking flare up at me? Pui...! You can't help than say so and if you think we are dragging the deadline for the submission a bit too long because of all the problems we faced than jolly well start doing your codings. Stop putting more burden to us because it's not bringing the team any good. So nice of you for starting all this disputes in the team. One more thing... stop emphasising on 'YOU NOT BEING A LEADER but still you do your work...' Eh... takmo step good-good kay? If you want to hold that position that go on, I can back off from being a leader at least, if you became the leader, we'll get even lesser updates which means MORE PEACE! In fact it's a good right? Flaring up at me.... is the biggest mistake you ever did after all the shit you've put me through for the previous projects. Maybe it's true what my other friends told me... If you really aren't being selfish... you would have probably recognise all the hardship and effort I've put through for the previous project. I bet this is the same thing you did the last time only now, you make it obvious. I'll do my part if you could have just stop barking because my eardrum really does hurt so badly... Get it?

Busy As A Bee

2011-10-29T11:05:00.005+08:00

I'll be busy doing my FYP tomorrow... Somehow, it gets tougher doing the planning and getting it right. I shall look at the issue tommorow and I'll settle it with my team-mates this coming Monday. After all, being a team leader is not as easy as ABC; It holds great responsibilities. And now, I'm getting ready to meet up with my beloved... (: Should I fetch him at Tampines or just meet him at Pasir Ris instead?? I think I shall reconsider my decisions. Anyway... Happy belated 24th birthday Aisyah(Abang Qim's gf)! May all your wish come true and thank you for all the pictures sent, I really appreciate it. I wonder how am I supposed to upload all of it in my blog because the pictures came in bulk and it's difficult to upload it bit-by-bit as it will take me such a long time to get the uploading of pictures done. Baby... any suggestion??

As planned, I'll privatise my blog very very soon. I shall update as much as I could for these few last post that were made for public viewer. Therefore, enjoy reading and knowing my life updates while you can.. I'm just cutting the number of KPOs in my life lah huh.. They are like the pest in my life. So... Shoooo~!

Enough said... I need to doll up ASAP so as to meet up with my dearest in an hour time! (: I'll asked my hubby on how to upload all those photos right... But it'll be available for viewers to look at it most probably tommorow. As-se-meh-kom!

Hi- Dayat! I- dah cinta U!

2011-10-28T01:39:00.004+08:00

Hello lovelies.... I'm in the mood to blog... It is so not at the right time and I'm sorry baby if I broke the promise I've made to you before you sleep, I'm supposed to sleep in around 15 more minutes after we ended our calls- I know, I'm sorry. My baby has been such a sweetheart; in fact too sweet towards me lately. I'm just wondering if there's anything that you are trying to hide away from me? Got any suprise or not..? (Ermmm... fluffly fluffy soft kind of suprises? Got?) Hehehe... Just kidding. *Muahhh* Sayang baby kiter yang sorang ni! Oh and BTW, we've watched 'Paranormal Activity 3' and I personally feel that it's not really a nice show to watch.. However, my prince has a different thought, oh well he loves it. He commented, "Boring eh cerite tu? Boring sangat ah cerite tu... sampai you tertdo2 eh? Oh oh... Ah ah... yelah." He's damn sarcastic you know? I admit that I didn't watch the show all the way till the end but I peep at it in between my fingers/hair/baby's shirt/baby's shoulder/etc once in a while and spent the whole timing hiding under my baby's armpit; and then of course, his shirt became my victim. *nehh :P" Sometimes you don't really have to watch it you know...? You just have to feel the tense emotions via the exaggeration of the sound-effects and then when the show ended, you can confidently ask whoever that are around you about what just happen in that particular parts of the show itself? Tadaa...! You will finally know what the whole show is about. Yes? Haha... Don't bother bringing me along when you want to catch some HORROR movies because I'll close my eyes right before the ghost appear. So honestly, I didn't manage to see any ghost appearing in any horror movies. Call me "Scary-cat" I don't care... *bluek!* Okay... Enough! Let's jump off the topic and start being random alright? However, I will start off the topic with the most annoying sentence like, " Oh yeah....! I went Malaysia with baby and family last Wednesday during the Deepavali public holiday... and It was A-MA-ZING! *Thumbs up!* " Annoying tak? It's annoying because of my sudden showing of excitement. LOL! My baby drive ah on that day... so can't hug him in the car... ): and therefore, I just spent time talking and joking around with his parent and his first brother instead.. (: We went to 'Gunung Ledang' waterfall but I still prefer the waterfall location that we went to during my first time going to a waterfall with them (I forget the name of it). I LOVE EVERYONE but I LOVE MY BABY MORE!! Hehehe~! I'm looking forward for more outing with his family.... I like to menyebok lah that's why... I shall go to his house tommorow after school? Play games!

I will like to say out something for my baby... Not to worry, but this is going to be the last part of today's post (Bear with it). Baby.... I will like to have a heart-to heart talk with you again, it's been such a long time since we had it. I had so many things to share with you but I really wish for a day that we weren't be busy having all those affection till we've forgotten to share some issues that are rather necessary. Ni ah bb... kite jumpe asik bbual merepek - buat bende merepek lepas tu ketawe non-stop. Anyway, I just want to say out something which I didn't have the courage to let it out verbally. You know... I've longed to have someone like you. Someone who really loves me and appreciate me for who I really am. You are the most patience man that I've ever met and you are one out of the millions whom I'm willing to trust whole-heartedly. You've pulled me out from my nightmares and you drag me into the real world in which I could experience love for real. You are the man who can really stand my atrocious behavior and my flaring up as a result of my sudden mood-swing. Like what you've said... "People do make mistake.." I know... maybe because of these flaws that every human-kind initiate as a part of life; No matter how perfect they could be, they will still tend to hurt the people around them intentionally or un-intentionally although they might love the people to the maximum. You know sayang... the way you've treated me, none of the gazillion men around the world are quite like you. You one out of the million men that I've put my heart and soul into. I trust that you'll take care of me and I love you baby... Oh b... I miss the day you asked me to close my eyes, and when you let me open up my eyes, you gave me the very very big bouquet of roses and you asked me if I could be yours. I miss Twelve/Twelve so much b... I remembered making a promise to you that you'll be the last guy that I'll be with and no other guys will come after you. You'll be my first and the last love.. Only God knows happy I were at that special point of time. You treat me perfectly great honey and apparently, you still hold on to those promises you've made. Once again, I love you so much and I solemnly swear upon this. Shahidah & Hidayat 12.12

Better Off Next Time

2011-10-25T23:50:00.009+08:00

Hey ya'll...! I've changed my desktop wallpaper to this...^^

The picture above was taken right after 2010 countdown. It was super long time ago.. I know. It tears me up having to do a flashback about whatever we've been through together and honestly I'm not that good lady. I feel that I've yet to treat my boyfriend the very best. I know I did too many mistakes and most of them are hurtful and it's not like I did it on purpose sometimes, I just can't help it, its beyond my control. I wonder when all those obstacles we faced, are going to be depleted? At some moment, I really wonder if all those obstacle we faced are some kind of a 'test' that was put in place for us, by God? If I'd just have a wish, I'll wish for a time-machine. It will be my biggest opportunities having to go back in time and ensure that everything went smoothly; right from where we started. I think social factors has indeed become an issue that is causing the pain in our relationship. We have deleted all the contacts that are un-needed in our mobile phones apart from those we still keep in touch for our present school/work purposes. Yeah...~! Our Contact-Book = Close to Nothing; Emptiness. Really cool... I love it when all we care about in this relationship, is us and our families. I got to admit that I am very very extraordinary selfish when it comes to love and B knows why. I'm that selfish that I could just rip everything apart just to ensure that I'm the only one with/around him (family inclusive. Obviously.) and no one else can get anywhere close to him -Not even his closest friend. I sincerely don't know if what I'm doing is right. I've tried to change my mentality but apparently, all kinds of effort that I've put into the process of changing my mindset, will all goes down the drain. Maybe I'm just being myself.. Huh? I really hope that B can suit himself with my personality if he really loves me and if he thinks that I'm his top priority. *skip* I've had an idea... and if I were to share it with my B, he'll confirm agree to it and make it an optional plan for me. I'm planning to privatise my blog and dis-allow outsiders to know whatever that is happening in my life and my love life. I will still update my blog but it will only be open for my one and only hubby to view my blog. I think he has all the right to know every single thing about me. Maybe I shall find the courage to even meet up with him one day and tell him all my secrets that I've kept away from every single being in my life. But I fear that I'll cry because it is really a secret in my life and those that I'm willing to share it with will be the lucky ones who will be able to know the real me and why I acted strangely in some ways. Even that day when B's dad told me to share my feelings and thoughts with B so that I'll be at ease; in other words, he wants me to trust that B is the person whom I can depend on almost anything. In fact, I believe that it's about time I need to turn over a new leaf and start afresh with my B.

And oh.... btw... I'm going Malaysia tommorow in the early morning with Baby and his family like again and again and again! Gosh....~! Have been spending my time more with B's family now-a-days. I've put in weight... and you people can call me Gemok,,, Baby has started to make noise ever since he sees a slow appearance of FATS bit by bit. It's slowly forming a fatty belt soon (The belt haven't complete via circumference yet). Plus, my weight goes up and down anytime it feels like it... (: I gain so much weight maybe because I'm happily (HAPPY!!!) eating non-stop and baby's parent call me 'Kudut' when honestly I'm not 'kudut' at all. I don't understand sometimes. Hehehe...~!

Seriously Unexpected

2011-10-25T15:27:00.002+08:00

Sometimes the worse turns out to be the best.... I've learnt how to pick myself up when I fell so it's okay... I shall update more about what really just happened today once I reached home from somewhere. Okay... You'll be shocked at how dramatic the world can gets. Apparently I just got scolded by somebody who's gonna kill me soon.. Very soon indeed ... Okay bye. (:

Out-of-the-blue

2011-10-24T00:35:00.004+08:00

I've been posting out mostly about what is happening in my life/love-life and I think it's about time everyone needs to know something about myself. Like what do I look up for in a guy that I truly love? And what are the few most hated behavior that I wouldn't tolerate from a guy that I love.. Lets start? (:

In order for me to love that someone truly, I must have the trust in that particular someone who is capable enough to make me feel secure. Someone who will uphold to his words and promises. Someone who is true not only to our love but also to himself. Someone who doesn't directly or indirectly betray our love. Someone who I'm comfortable sharing my feelings with. Someone who adores me and no one else. Someone who has a stand for his life. Someone who doesn't do something to hurt me. Someone who will love me willingly. Someone who finds me the most beautiful and attractive lady even though I had the most terrible physical features. Someone who will not use comforting words in vain. Someone who will do anything in the name of 'happiness'. Someone who is conserve and responsible enough to carry out his roles as a man. And definitely, someone whom I can trust putting my heart and soul with.

Hence when it comes to love, there are a few most hated behavior that I wouldn't tolerate from a man. These are:

1) A man who is in disguise of his true self. Like for example... Why acting all good to me portraying a perfect image of a true gentleman when you still did thing behind my back when you know that it's gonna hurt me so much? You can simply beg for forgiveness for your mistakes but, don't ever forget about the scars you left as a result of something you did knowingly. It may thus affect that person so much that you'd drag everything back to square one.

2) An alcoholic. I wouldn't want a drunken master in my life? I don't have an alcohol taste-bud of a man you see... I just hate it super duper much having that thoughts that my love one is out there drinking his lungs out and acting like an hooligan just because his feeling typsy over drinking that high volume of alcoholic drinks. Super uncouth.

3) A hanky-panky social man. Sometimes it's alright to be friendly but being too friendly when you are in a relationship, is unhealthy. I cannot accept it if my love one is too busy with his outside life and when he's phone rings most of the time when we are out together for a date. Those social friends of his are super brainless because all they care about is enjoying with his presence and not caring even if you are out with your special someone. Wrong timing bebeh.. It's totally disrespectful. I wouldn't want to have most of the time, getting bumped into any guys or girls asking random questions about my man as though they really bother about his life. And worse... your man don't even do anything about it.

4) A porn addict. If any man said that viewing an X-rated videos is normal for men than jolly well reject them. It's not a man thing and it can't be a man thing because pornographic website serves the purpose to make you aroused when you look at those free-for-sale vaginas getting fuck. It's never okay for a man to do that when he's attached. Just imagine a guy who claim to love you, praising you like fuck but he stills get turn on by looking at the videos/images and gets addicted at looking at OTHER sluts' pussies. Just imagine how he makes you feel so cheap and worthless knowing you are not the only special person he's impress with? It not only makes you feel cheap and worthless... As a lady who is true to your man would have this doubt of whether your man is using you as a sex mechanism am I right? He watches it... He masturbates looking at those "Awesome" piece of routine exercise for sluts... And he can try it FOR REAL on you right? I'm super disgusted by those attached porn addicts because they sucks big time. Screw them alright ladies... You deserve someone better.

Therefore, it clearly shows that I would love to be with a man who have that conserve thinking who will love me and truly cares about my feelings... Just like how NurHidayat treat me... Ahhh... I super love him... He's the best and I mean it! Gosh! I love you baby.

(I'm sorry if some of the words used in this post seems explicit even if it's not to the extreme.)

Okay... that's all about knowing on what makes my ideal partner perfectly flawless in my eyes. Jyeah! (: Now lets talk about events that happened YES-TER-DAY. Yes? I went Giant with baby's parent and Nurin and they bought for me CRABS cos I love to eat them. Spent the whole day at his house, I learnt how to kill the crab and techniques on how wash it properly but I didn't get to help his mum to cook ah... I'm having menstrual cramp so I spent time laying down on the comfy sofa. Than... had some medical chat and I had a head massage too! All thanks to B's mum's head massaging machine by OSIM. (: I'm sad that for some particular reason, I didn't had the mood to have a very great and long chat with his parent. Partly because of my giddiness which just get worse by hours and I'm really controlling my giddiness level because somehow I feel like fainting cos my vision gets blurred and darken at times. So I shall call out for the day? Goodnight y'all.

Princess Diana

2011-10-23T00:18:00.004+08:00

She's my cousin... Putri Diana (Princess Diana) Fuhhh~! Name sungguh classic! She's beautiful isn't she? Lying on the bed with her cousin who haven't had a shower since morning at the point of time when this picture was taken. Eleh...~! Mandi tak mandi... tetap Shasha cute per. Kan baby? (: Ok wtv. She's a month plus ONLY and Im sure she'll grow up to be the most beautiful lady ever! Just dont be a minah can already... It's such an eyesore to your kakak sedare ini ok. And one more thing... Don't get hook to a no stand-in-life mat rep too okay.. This part, your kakak sedare ini also pantang okaaayy..? Haha.. Alah macam dier paham gitu... Sayang baby pink...!

I just came back home after one whole day of meeting up with baby... We've had lots of fun together. Another memorable day with baby but the day just got to end and we just have to call out for the day... Ouhhhh... ): Last Friday, he fetched me from school and we headed straight to Tampines. Waited for his family to get ready then we headed off to have our dinner at East Coast Park. Best Sekali...! Baby's father asked me to come again on Sunday(Today) and we'll be going somewhere again in the morning. Ahhhh....~! How I wish I can live with them like forever.. People say if you love the guy/girl, you'd have to love his/her family too.. And I love them too! Another day at baby's house... How amazing...? Haisss I love you lah bb and I miss you so much already... Oh... Baby...! Send me the picture that we took yesterday with Nurin and Baby...! I want to upload it into my blog. Ty sayang... Ok bye!

Ehhhhh... ya! Almost forget... Baby... Happy 20 Years And A Month Old...! Gawd...~! You are getting older man baby... Cannot get too whiny and pampered with me you know it has to work the opposite way; I'm the one who can do all that because I'm still a teenager even if we were to follow by year, I'm already TWENTY. Haha... It's so obvious that the best way to get older is when your birthday falls on the last month of each year.. It slower the rate of getting old like YOU. (:

Apology Accepted

2011-10-20T13:17:00.006+08:00

To that particular someone,

Right.... Honestly.... I didn't hate you (I even told my BF that) and I'm sorry for making you feel so fucked up with all the words that pierced you through. But again, it doesn't mean if I critisice someone in any of my blog post, it has to have anything got to do with you. Apparently, there are a lot of other bitches out there whom still got an un-finished issues with me. So ya... get it? Just don't be guilty conscience of the words that may not be specifically dedicated to you. Don't let words bring you down. Right...? Ok all the best for you in your love-life journey with your dearest! (:

Prince Is Booking Out Today!

2011-10-19T11:08:00.009+08:00

I'm supposed to attend fyp meeting with my fellow team mates today but I postpone it to this Friday. I'm not feeling well.. My head spins like 'Merry-Go-Round' and my back hurts. I can't really walk properly. FML. Whatever health condition that I'm in, it doesn't stop me from travelling all the way to Choa Chu Kang today, just to meet my prince. If he comes out from his camp later than the time he planned, I'll take bus 975 and travel down to his camp in Lim Chu Kang.This week isn't like any other week as I didn't get to meet him last Sunday because he has got duty and then he can't booked out on both Monday and Tuesday(yesterday). But then, there's a day call 'Wednesday' and it's a day in every mid-week that I'm able to see him... God... I miss him so much. I can't believe that I'm missing him this much when it's just three days without him around. Wait for me right honey?! I'll buy for you Macdonald Ice-cream... Wakakaka~! (:

And oh... CGH called me and remind me thay it is a must to bring my referral letter to the Orthopedic department during my first appointment this coming Monday. I'm afraid I misplaced it, Gosh~! Than I'll have to wait for another two months to see them than like that my back will get worse sia. WTF. My prince will confirm nag at me non-stop and he'll force me to search for the letter back. Asik kene marah lah.... ): He'll confirm say, "Ah yelah... abeh kalau I tak marah, tak tau dengar ckp. Orang kesah pasal dier... etc etc.. Kan I da ckp... etc,,, etc.. etc... ape tau baby ni..." Haha... Then I'll reply... "Eleh baby ni... sikit2 marah, sikit2 marah.". But when he so-called "scolded me for something I did wrong, hearing all those words that came out from his mouth literally form out as some kind of advises; I'm touch by how he really mind every single thing that I do, ensuring that I don't do something stupid and also he really take great care of me. I can never think of a day that he hurt me so much because (thanks to Allah) for all the months that we have been together, he has never ever once had any intention to hurt me. Only at times when I keep on scolding him non-stop for something he never do and not letting him the chance to explain, he'll just used words to backfire and apparently those words really pierce me through. Ouch! Ala... whatever it is baby I memang sentiase sweet and he's always the best...! I sayang dier byk2! Ok bye

Fat Faggot

2011-10-18T22:10:00.010+08:00

Even without pretending, I know there are some old faggot that still dropped by and view my blog.. (: Must be someone so fucking FAT. I am very sure FAT bitches have many un-finished issues with me.. Asal mesti perempuan Gemok eh...? Haha! Alahhh... yang babat tak laku tu... alah yang macam paham tuuu... tuu ah dier! haha... Let me give you a clue... She's an Old Fattish Faggot who loves criticising others not realising her own abnormal looks and worse, she just love sticking her nose on someone else's problem. Other people's issue in a relationship become hers. (Fucking KPO I know) Like.. I think she just need all the attention to her lah that's the reason why she's acting like a kid with no life... Pity her... (She's fake lah obviously *roll eyes*...) She ever mentioned that people should start worrying if she start showing her fucked up attitude. But.... if you really think about it, I really do suggest that people should start worrying of being suffocated by the voluptuous fat-attack! She act as though she owns everything but trust me, she doesn't own so much of that being too "Awesome" life. She's such a butoh miskin and she really is.. Well... Don't bother about matters when ,matters don't mind.. Whatever criticism you've made about other people truly reflects on yourself. Haha... You are just so good at doing self-reflection. She's the type of girl who love creating shits and expect others to eat it... And the Pigs whom eat it, are the ones who think that she's amazing when she's not. She's just FAT and has big eyes and also a double-Macspicy sized lip. FAT became an issue in my life because it's unhealthy. Dier besar peh suar... Yes? I'm still waiting for the time that I can meet up with you.. No point showing your bravery on the net and when it comes to settling problems face-to-face you'll need some skinny dog to lick those shits that you've messed up. Hah...Babat hilangkan dulu ah baru bleh byk bunyi. And and... Oh old faggot.... It's been so long... I miss you. (:

OUPSSS!!! OKAY I SHALL CALL MY HUBBY LIKE.... NOWWWWW
And one last thing, I shall talk about my hubby in the next post lah okay?! Goodbye for now! SO... C YA! (:

Love

2011-10-16T19:04:00.007+08:00

I tagged along with B and his family to Johor for dinner yesterday. And it's way too awesome! Tell me about it! I've been unwell for the past three days and it has been an on and off thing which is utterly annoying. I can be super sick and my body will get super warm at one minute and the next minute, everything seems pretty normal apart from those unstoppable giddiness. And oh... I'm currently active on tumblr as well, just for your information. So, you'll expect more updates on both sites. (: My classmates have been asking me if I own any social-networking website such as Twitter and Facebook? And my answer is.. NOPE! I don't own any! But I used to own one before but apparently, I've got owned. Haha. I think it's un-necessary that you own all these website when you are attached because these website doesn't bring any good to your relationship when all the more it causes more dispute to your relationship. Gahahaha~! Futhermore, the Mats and Minahs have abandoned Tagged and have indeed- conquered Facebook. So you'll expect more rubbish from them like.. mistreating Facebook as Twitter? mistreating Facebook as Tagged or AnakMelayu.com? and more pictures of Mat JERK and their minah bitches? and also, more of those annoying flaring up comment in public! You know I know uh... Hakkkk Puiii! You know what's Facebook is for? Facebook are for commercial business sites; A perfectly clean website until these people tarnish it.. (: Facebook aren't supposed to be the place you tell the public about your where-a-bout, your problems which potrays your fucked up attitude and your ugly pictures with your sampah-masyarakat clique. Oh ya.... my prince too hate these kind of people... cos they are proud when people call them "Mat and Minah" or in other term, " EhTaik!" because the more you look down at them, the fiercer they get and because of them, they tarnish the true image of a true Malay.. They make us, innocent people look like people who have no stand in life, in general. WTF sia... Fucking dougebags... Wakakaka!

Oh...oh.... Baby's parent advised me not to wear contact lens.... Iyelah... (: I told mama than mama say... "Ah bagos ah.. next month buat cermin mate.." Elehhhh....... Mane baby....? baby mesti tak kesah kan...?! ): Almost forgot! My tumblr link:
My Tumblr... Please Click Here!

Happy 10 Months!!!

2011-10-12T23:57:00.004+08:00

For all the moments that we shared days and nights together.
For all the strength that we've put through those thick and thins of life.
For all the seconds our heart beat as one.
For all the laughter, the happiness and the problems that we've shared.
For all those tiny quarrels that we had.
For all the crazy things that we did in public.
For all the promises which remain un-touched.
For there is love, there is us....
Happy 10 Months Of Love My Dear Hidayat!

I LOVE YOU!!!!!

Miss Him So Dearly.

2011-10-11T15:20:00.004+08:00

I miss my pretty boy so damn much ): But... Pretty boy doesn't miss my story-telling session anymore... Pretty boy doesn't love me anymore... Pretty boy doesn't miss me at all.. Maybe I'm no longer pretty boy's special lady after all.. *cry*

Oh well.... It tears me up when someone manage to tell me of who I truly am in person and its true; rather than judging or interpreting directly from my actions. Life is a drama. Sometimes you are just used to be someone whom you are not that it became a habit till you portray your "new image" to the people around you and than, people start to judge "you" as you. Okay... I had this heart-to-heart talk with my group of friends during break-time just now and everyone started sharing their worst treatment ever receive from the past and that affected you so much till today. And guess what? Ability to be accepted by the society is the common issue. I finally derive to a conclusion that we humans just want to be accepted by others in life. And at last.... someone tells me who I really am perfectly! The words used to describe my true self are perfectly right! And ya... I cried. Bahhhhh~! hahaha Now you know why people do change? Fuck Yeah! XD

Dear baby,

2011-10-11T00:05:00.007+08:00

Picture above was a message sent by you.. like super long time ago when you are still serving your BMT @Tekong. Sweet kan you DULU. *Bluek*

Hello baby.... I wanna complain to everyone about you leaving me alone on this fateful midnight. You knew I can't sleep if I didn't get to hear your voice every night yet he still fall asleep. He called me several times and I purposely ignored those calls because I WANT HIM TO CHEER ME UP LIKE ALWAYS.. Hmph! But he fell asleep. Not fair... I'm schooling tomorrow morning and it's gonna be another night sleeping for two hours aje.. I have to force my eyes to stay awake until Mama wakes up at 5.00am just because I'm afraid of the dark. ): Never mind... B don't love me anymore that's why. Later if I complain kan macam ni kan... nanti start ah ngan dier nye favourite sentence, "Baby ni...kan I da ckp" .. Ah yelah I tawu you selalu cakap b.. Cakap aje, lepas tu tinggal kan orang malam2 sorang2. Eleh takpe,,, baby tinggal kan kite sorang2 kan! Biarkan besok kite merajok balek. Lalalala...~!

The Best Of The Best

2011-10-10T13:09:00.007+08:00

Life is not all smooth sailing, it has its ups and downs. Therefore, it is absolutely normal for every relationship to have some form of disagreement or misunderstanding that may occur. However, when situation gets pretty complicated or out-of-hand, never ever sacrifice your relationship that you've built so far with your partner as a mean to solve the problem faced when both parties still do love each other. You wouldn't want to trade love with something that will bring darkness into your life would you? It's such a waste of that particular moment of your lifetime am I right? But in-spite-of all the various ways to help make situation gets better, life can be so unpredictable that some things just don't go the way you want them to. because our life is all written. Right... I shall stop blabbering. Okay whatever... I love NurHidayat Bin Mohd Kassim because he's presence make my life completely flawless. And because, he's an example of a true man with dignity and a good-heart. And also Because he's not LIKE YOUR NO STAND IN LIFE MATREP BOYFRIEND! Wakakaka... And now, I shall stop being random. -,-

Honestly, I don't brag about stuffs. I just love to talk about a total random stuff AS A MEANS to critisice others. (:

Updates on my weekends:

Friday - Baby waited for me at Woodland interchange after school, Grabbed some food at the 'Pasar Malam' and he spent the rest of the day in my house. Baby I jadi ranger! (:(:

Saturday - Baby fetched me under my void deck then we went to his house. EAT! Practice Mathematics with him. EAT! Watch movies at home together with his brother and his parent. Go down smoke awhile with B. Go up back, and do some touch up on my make up. Went dinner with B and his parent at 'Bedok Corner' I think. EAT! EAT! EAT! Went back home again, listen to B's dad's stories about 'MJ12' or real-life encounter with ghost. B sent me home around midnight and before that we went lorong to see the prostitute but we ended up at town because he drove out at the wrong exit(Blame it on me!). So, he has to keep on turning back in order to reach to our planned destination. Around 2 plus, we slack in the multi-storey carpark and smoke our lungs out because the weather outside has been a bitch (Heavy Downpour). And at 3plus, I'm back in my crib, Ahhhh Heaven.

Sunday - Supposed to spent another day at B's house again but my grandma asked me to come her house because she misses me. So ya, I spent the whole day at grandma's and met up with b at night.. It's a sulking night for us and we don't have our usual sweet good night sleep. ):

Today, Im having Macroeconomics and I kind of love it? But nothing beats my Advance Mathematics module best. I wanna meet my baby today... can tak sayang? Rindu... ):

And Oh say Hello to this cutie little princess...! She's my close cousin... and apparently, she's the youngest in the family (Mum's side). Cute kan dier?

I LOVE HIDAYAT! I LOVE HIDAYAT! I LOVE HIDAYAT! I LOVE HIDAYAT! I LOVE HIDAYAT! I LOVE HIDAYAT!

Envy Me

2011-10-04T13:13:00.002+08:00

I think I should dedicate this post to all my hate-taggers and all the busy-bodies in my blog. The question is, why does my life bothers you people so much?

The definition of the word 'blog' as stated by 'Blogger.com' is that, "A blog is a personal diary. A daily pulpit. A collaborative space. A political soapbox. A breaking-news outlet. A collection of links. Your own private thoughts...."

Yes.. Perfect!

I'm sure my blog is filled with lots of events that is happening in my life in which, I have the courage and generosity to share it publicly. Whether viewers like it or not, they simply cant do anything about it or rather keep their opinions to own self. And so.. Why do I still receive comments about me bragging a whole lots of things about my love life (To be specified)? Do you people brag about your relationship in your blog etc? Cos if you do brag about it, than I believe that your relationship is lacking of something until you have to exaggerate on the good stuff to proof to the public on how "perfect" your relationship is. How pathetic can that be? Do all the words that came out from my own personal thinking and feelings seems like a bragging thing for you? I suggest that you busybodies who love intruding on someone Else's personal space should do something better out of your own living. We ain't perfect you know people..? All of us has our own flaws. Plus, I don't live my life to please others cos that is what hypocrites do. I'm sorry that as a matter of fact, you are just jealous that your life isn't as awesome as mine. If that's the case, than I reckon that you do something about it! Stop TRYING to ruin other people's life by sticking your nose into other people's business. Your improper planning to ruin my life isn't working on my side and apparently you are just doing it with a HOPE that it will work. Honestly, it's fine to be jealous but don't become an issue of something that is totally none of your business. So, stop acting like an immature kid will ya?

It doesn't matter how long your relationship is as compared to mine but at least, my relationship doesn't starts off with me being a rebound girl.. (: Haha! Loser! Maybe all those rebound girls are those who will definitely envy me! Tada.. Gotcha! Oh man... I don't indirectly force my prince to be with me out of sympathy or letting yourself willingly accept a guy who just got dumped by your own friend and on that moment, you are just desperate for love. Love can't be force you know people? My baby once said, "No matter how bad you were in the past, it doesn't matter. And when people is still unhappy about what you did in the past, just laugh it out because you are smart enough to fool them till they fell for your words."

Now you know why I love him? Because he's not like your typical Mat-rep boyfriend. And now you know why my words sounded like bragging to you? Because you are jealous.(:

Live With It

2011-10-03T18:12:00.007+08:00

My last weekend was amazing! For the first time, I spent my weekend with baby and his family. Usually, I'll spent my weekend with baby alone. Last Saturday, I followed B and his parent to a wedding invitation which is at his mum's side. Than I spent the rest of the day at his house. They ordered pizzas and apparently, B doesn't know about the plan so he had to forced himself to eat the few slices of pizzas though he has already eaten before the pizzas were delivered. Hahahahaha....! Serve you right baby! And yet again the following morning, we went Malaysia.. Huuray.. We went to one of the waterfall in Johor bahru and a hot spring somewhere nearby the area also. But sadly I didn't took any of the pictures when we were in the waterfall itself. Aisyah (Abang's girlfriend) has all the pictures when we are in the "pool" because her camera is waterproof mah therefore once she sent it to me, I'll upload it all in a new post. Okie dokies? My baby is super cute. Among his brothers, he's the only one who loves to play with water so much like a kid (Macam tak boleh nampak air gitu. Arh gitu ah!). In fact he really did look like a kid happily playing with the water and when he's having fun, he laugh exactly like woody the woodpecker. I swear I'm not lying about his laughter. I was in disbelieve manxxx! The whole day was superb fun! But...The best part is when all of us cleared the area in the waterfall which are full of stones carrying those big big stones and do a blockage to one side of the waterfall. We actually did succeeded in building it together as we worked through the strong current and enduring the pains when the heavy stone hit our fingers. Futhermore, once the stone that we stock up gets higher, the current gets stronger and the water level rise. The funny part comes when syg's first brother lying in the water and keep on saying.. "oh shiokies" everytime he helps us picked up a heavy stone. Like seriously damn fun. So what did B and I did most of the time in the car on our journey to every designated location? Talk... Eat Laugh Hug and Sleep! We sleep a lot ah can?! Sitting at the very back of the car together with lots foods helped us to fall asleep every 5 second. Ok best!

Now..... my appeal was rejected which means that I'm gonna graduate only with the..... NEXT YEAR'S BADGE. Baik eh? Baik kan... Sial kan? Macam pukimak. At a situation like this, going to a library or wherever that provides the public with knowledge, makes me feel stupid. So I wont step even a foot to places as such. I can't possibly change the time, so I suggest to myself that I shall just have to live with it. I promised myself to do my very best for this last semester when school reopens this Thursday. I find that there's no point being sad and wanting someone to be there for me when I'm down when after all, nothing is going to change anything. I can't afford to just keep hearing words of wisdom from others to make me feel better and not doing anything. Sometimes, if I can encourage others to help them feel better about the problem that they are facing, than why not this time round I use it on myself. Maybe the aftermath will be so much better.

Happiness Hides Sorrows

2011-09-29T14:30:00.013+08:00

I can't wait for school to reopen...!!! I'm doing Advance Mathematics in next semester again!! Haha... I took Add Maths when I was in secondary school and honestly I do suffer with it until constant practice makes me love both Elementary Mathematics and Additional Mathematics. In which I find it useless because in O'level, they only require you to choose if you want to use your Elementary Math or Additional Math score. Mathematics makes me care less about problems that affects me so much because, all I will ended up thinking is how to solve the Mathematical problem and that's all about it. My cousin said that people took the module to help them to go University but I took it not because it helps in my admission to any institution but rather, it's more to my Interest. Honestly, I don't have any idea of what I can do after I've graduated from poly, In God's will if there's any opportunity out there for me to further my studies than I will grab it even if I were take private degree or what so ever. I may not be that rich people who gets whatever they want in life and I may not be a smart Alex who will constantly succeed in their academic performance; And despite all the flaws, it doesn't stop me from getting what I wanted in life. I'm like taking smaller step in going to the top, I know I'll face difficulties and I just hope words don't degrade me so much till I give up half-way through the top. Fuck yeah!

Yesterday, I went to B's house again and B's family plan on going to Malaysia this Sunday. I really hope the plan is still on... than I can run away from problems happening in Singapore itself. Wakakaka... Anyway, I'm just so sad that B is still sick after eating all those bitter medication... (The bitter taste of any medication makes me feel like puking and it makes me even more sick. Gosh! I had to be forced and got my ear stuff with all those naggings from my B to eat my medication.) He's not as active as always.... ): Baby.... get well soon ah... Weak ah Bb... Takmo weak ah... Urghh...! *roll eyes* Baby kalau saket siape nak Jage I? manje2 dengan I? Pelok I? Cium I? Sayang I? Tarok Minyak Limau Pat Kepale I? Beli Bubble Tea Untok I? Bakar Marshmallow untok I? Tido dengan I? dan banyak2 lagi untok I? Siape lagi yang sanggop buat tu semue untok I demi cinte kite? Siape?! (Ah kan dah speaking) Ahhhhh nak mengamok ah! Sayang sangat dengan bb kite yang comel ni ah... Nak kiss ah... Muacckkksss!

'Nothing will ever come between us cause I'll be standing right next to you.'

Nothing Last Forever.

2011-09-28T12:13:00.006+08:00

Yesterday B accompanied me to my school to do some appealing shit.. I feel so shitty having to go through all those troublesome shits, I sat there doing nothing but crying while B did whatever that I'm supposed to do. Who the hell appeal for project grades...? Yes.. Final Year Project. You know what it feels like doing most of the task, putting all the efforts into it but at the end of the day, the person who did the most task in the project got a Fucking F for it? It feels like all the efforts goes down the drain just like that, ya like that. A FUCKING F which brought my GPA so fucking down because of that. I can go jump down already sia.. FUCKING CB FUCK. After we are done with the appealing shit, we went Causeway Point - B went to buy burgers from MacDonald and he also bought himself a Mathematics book to prepare himself for his continuation of studies after NS. Smart Baby! We were stuck in the middle of nowhere not knowing where to go so we keep smoking and smoking until I told him if we can just study at his house. So he agreed and called up his mum; She too agreed. So ya... next stop... Tampines! His parent fetched B at the taxi stand than we headed to Tampines. I sat at the back seat with my gonna-be parent-in-law! And B and Abang switch place in front as B drive faster lor... Haha... Abang wanted to eat Laksa so much so we stopped by at a supermarket in Tampines and I accompany his mum out to buy Laksa noodle. Back at home his mum is super sweet to teach me how to cook Laksa and she even taught me how to cut2 the onion etc. Haha... I worked damn slow cos I'm not used to doing all those cooking or rather household chores so much.. but his mum is okay with it... she even say it's ok slowly you'll get the hang of it. Lalala... After that we ate together... than talk2 with his parent about all sorts of stuff until 11PM and B sent me home. I always wanted to rome somewhere first before going back home. B asked if I wanted to go Lorong again to see all those "Sampah masyarakat" selling off their body /Prostitutes. I rejected the idea and I suggested that we go to the Japanese grave in front of his Aunt house instead at Thomson Rd.. So we went there and went back to Aljunied, lepak in the car for a while listening to MJ12 while smoking and at 2+am he sent me home. As you can see, I'm happy only for that period of time when I'm with him and his family. But once I reached home and when I'm all alone, that is when all those thinking start haunting me back and making me feel worse than a shit.

As for today... B just came back from hospital and now he's resting at home. He's not well as he's having a high fever. Why must it be baby? ): He's now resting at home and I pray for your speedy recovery sayang. Amin. I love you sweetheart so much!

Giving Up? Never.

2011-09-26T00:57:00.006+08:00

Say hello to my beloved 20 years old boyfriend! *smile* I'll join the Twenties clan very very soon okay love? But it will be on a day in December so I shall just have to spend this short moment enjoying my teenage life. Do be jealous! Ekk! Baby... get well soon okay sayang. I saaayang you sangat lah b.. As days goes by I realised that I can't stand a day without you around. Miss you like hell much... *hug*

Baby's birthday celebration on the 23rd, last Friday - Celebrated the whole day with his Family.

I don't want to mention or emphasis anything about my result. It's just too disheartening. What's done can't be undone, life has to move on and I'll just have to bear with the nagging. This is the phrase that I'll remind myself as a form of motivation for me ever since I was in Primary Six when I was doing my PSLE.. "It doesn’t matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop." I'll never gonna give up not till I achieve my goal in life. I'm no longer a kid; I do what I think is best for my future. Okay daaa~! I'm off to bed. Nights yaw!

You Are The Reason To My Everything

2011-09-22T00:36:00.004+08:00

What's with all the hectic changes of the website's layout? Annoying much. King's birthday is tomorrow ah! And I've yet to finish whatever that I'm doing for his birthday. It's a no surprise thing so don't worry. I still have to go out and buy a proper covered top to be worn on Friday, as I'll be coming to his house again. Mentioning about surprises, I've no idea on how to come out with all sorts of "surprises". You see.. surprises are something that are planned for you when you least expect it or in other term, 'Expect the unexpected'. How could you have not known that someone will wish you a Happy Birthday or give you something as a gift on your birthday and that you have not literally forget that it is your birthday? Like... how could you be surprised when you know it's your birthday and someone wishes you a Happy birthday right? True. I think some people didn't quite understood of the term 'Surprise'. Well... let me tell you something about myself. It may sound a bit pathetic so bear with it. I'm not that 'surprise' type of lady and the king knows why (I hate surprises... because you expect something but you just doesn't know what could it be and you'll be curiously asking the same question over and over again just to know what is it. Leceh gile babs kan?! I tau). Even on random times when I purchased something for the King and at first thought I want to make it a surprise but that eager feeling of mine just keep spoiling the whole plan. So when the King call me, I'll tell him..."B... I bought for you something tawu....!" In fact, this things happened almost all the times and at times, I just find myself a super boring lady who can't abide to all those surprise plans. Therefore, pathetically I came out with my own conclusion that surprise plans can never work with people who can't possibly keep secret. Tadaa! Okay let's go back to surprises for the King's birthday. The surprises or gift will be given on King's birthday as expected but the surprises are not knowing what is it or how it looks like. Surprises/'Expect the unexpected' kan tu? (:

By the way... I'm still considering of whether to go to King's house on Friday. I wouldn't want to trouble his family of my presence especially his mum who will cook some sumptuous meal and ask me to 'eat and eat and eat'. I really do appreciate that but kind of doesn't like the feeling as my intention to go to his house was to meet my future 'In-laws' and happily listening to his dad's stories about the past. It's really heart-warming to have the privileged to meet his parent and talk about all sort of stuff the first time I went there. They are really very very very nice. Honestly... If I'm that thick-skin which I'm not, I'll go to his house every day JUST to listen to his dad's story; Like seriously awesome. I shall talk about this to my B later when he calls me if only he calls me! I bet he's asleep.

Sumpah I sayang NurHidayat Bin Mohd Kassim sorang.

Mind over matter but Matter don't mind.

2011-09-19T16:42:00.006+08:00

B... can we be like this in the future only it's going to be for real...? I want our first child to be a boy so that he can take care of his younger siblings when he grow up.

It have been days since I've update my blog in which I supposed to upload more of my old pictures, the day after the day I posted out the last post. I think uploading more of my old pictures are kind of disturbing and irrelevant as I hated who I was in the past. So basically, I hate my past and I hate being in the past. Living in the present and the future are much more worthwhile than living in the past-Everyone agrees to this. My prince birthday is this Friday which falls on the 23rd of September and that's it love... no more a TEEN(AGER). I'm pretty sure you'll miss your teenager life apart from wasting your time and money on that GEDABAK (Everyone knows who I'm refering too). It's busybody of me to have un-resistably asked him or kakak and than listened to his infatuation life with that gedabak. It's super boring relationship where one tries to make things seems pretty sweet while the other party just keep taking advantage and spending too much money on food or I shall say more to the un-necessary stuffs. I pity my hubby for spending such a huge amount for a pig like that; A pig has no brains who knew less about feelings except for consuming more food and fucking around with different males and proclaiming that she has been harassed. My smart bf has to constantly explain to her of what he wrote in his blog because she's stupid enough not to understand simple english. Pig goes 'Neighhhhhh' 'ah hah ah hah' and knows nuts about whatever that B just explained. Fucking nympho. Sepak kang.. This is what we call 'Mind over matter but Matter don't mind.' Okay.... (: (Where was I?) Oh ya... Baby certainly is going to miss his teenager life doing something worthy for his future and I'll take cautiously care of his feelings from 12.12.2010 onward. My prince is a great man and my never ending love for him is a promise.

Alright I went to B's house last Friday for Raya with an intention to meet up with my future-to-be In-laws (Amin amin!). Before that we accompany kakak to fetch Nurin from her school and she help me touch-up my make-ups. I like I like I like it all like that. They are really nice and funny at times. I kind of adore his intellectual dad who would willingly share stories about the past history with me, let me touch his favourite cat without getting scratch and as I've promised, I'll come again for more untold stories (In god's will). This friday ke baby....? Birthday baby ke? Hah....? (: Psst... my baby's house got alot alot alot of tidbits. Halloween night is around the corner so I suggest you knock on my B's house door and shout "Tidbits"...! Hahaha selamat ah kau.

Last Saturday... we went exercising the whole day... than swimming at Sengkang at night.. Best sekali but damn tiring ah... If my baby starts to train me for those physical exercise right he wont even fool around with me. Asik nak serious aje than if I want to manje2 with him right he will scold me... He say.."baby... nak I aja taknk.." When I continuously irritate him and ask whether we should stop exercising and let me eat the food he brought from home, he'll keep on replying "No! We havent even complete 39% of the dunno what" Eleh ni baby ni.. ):

So long as my prince is happy... that's all that matters. I love you baby...!

Old Pictures...

2011-09-15T00:58:00.006+08:00

I was browsing my PC folder and I found a hidden folder that was just full of my old images... Of course I've deleted some unwanted pictures. So no worries and of course I'll upload more of the old pictures tomorrow. (:

Just Pictures And Videos!!

2011-09-13T21:30:00.007+08:00

I shall just display the links to view the pictures cos there are too many pictures and I'm lazy to upload it all into my blogger account. Therefore, all the pictures will be in my Picasa account instead (URL will be given too. No worries). Well... as for the videos, these are all that I could find in my phone. So.. ya.. (:

This was taken super long time ago when my hair is still short. Location: Sunplaza park @ Tamp.

My prince singing for the fun of it. Location: My house.

These videos was taken when he came to my house by surprised when I thought he was in camp all along. The day I became a month older and the day we studied for our exams. Remember? Location: Void Deck.

This video was my younger brother's. He had asked me to upload it in YouTube but I took super duper long time to upload it. Sorry ya bro? But I've did the uploading of this video as promised. (:

Here are all the link to the pictures!!!

Lebaran 2011

Camping The Army Style With Hubby

Happy Belated 9 Months!

2011-09-13T00:33:00.003+08:00

9 months huh? I was in disbelieved at how long we have been with each other. It's amazing how time swift and left us un-noticed of all those bad and good times we shared right from the beginning. He's like an angel sent from heaven, the most remarkable gift I have ever received in my life from Allah and he's presence, is a total life-changing for me. Honestly, I have to admit that I've finally found a true man that managed to capture my heart and knows how to take great care of it, than those boys who doesn't have any respect for the lady's heart and who thinks that they are ready to settle down and commit into any relationship. (By the way, I'm not referring to anyone in particular) Why did I said so? Because... my prince did what other guys couldn't do.

"He get so worried whenever I'm sick regardless if it's just a minor sickness or the major ones, he will be there for me 24/7 without fail and ensure that I get well. He came out with reasons after reasons, begging his officers to let him out just to rush to take care of me in the hospital. Whatever problems I had became he's problem too. This shows that he wouldn't let anything or anyone hurt my feelings so freely. Not even my family member! He doesn't care of who I used to be in the past even if one day someone walked up to him and talk the hell shit about me when it happened to be in the past. This goes to show that he wouldn't let outsiders gossip about me with an intention to ruin us. (So... save your intentions to ruin us because you hated me of my past.. just save it!) He never abused me in any form of ways (verbal, physical etc). He has his way of controlling his anger and he respects woman. He prioritize me; He put me above the rest, apart from his own family, I'm his first in his list. He put aside his ego and he did give in all the time just to not hurt the person he love. He did too many things in my life to make me feel happy. He wants me to be soft-spoken, to not wear any revealing clothes and he is still guiding me to become how a proper Malay girl should behave. It means, he not only respect me as his gf, he respect me as woman with dignity. He never ever once ask for a break up from me though how disappointed he is towards me. He never ever scold me vulgarities even when he's angry. Apparently, he knew most of the things that other guys don't bother to do a research on. I could ask or clarify with on almost any random factual stuff yet he'll know and share with me with that super long draggy story from the beginning and how it branches out until I've understood and get the answer that I wanted. He create a jiwang song entitled 'Shahidah' (No.. It isn't a cover song don't worry he's anti-copyrighted person) which he doesn't want to give it to me to publicise the song on Youtube because the song was specially made for me from Him himself. Also, he'll sing for me to cheer me up or before I go to sleep. He's one smart guy, he's humble, he's as sweet as sugar (Ants love him), his smile and laughter brighten up my days and he's strong usage words are preferably too convincing that it's able to knock some sense to suit any kind of people especially the stubborn ones like myself. He had that moral courage in him and nothing can snatch his happiness away apart from the fate of God.... He's one of a kind and he's someone who can't be under-estimated."

This is all that I'm capable to state it down. In fact there are more things that he has done for me in this relationship but it's just so much that my fingers can barely handle typing. With all that he has done for me and still doing, I'm pretty much am confident enough that we'll go far. Alhamdulilah.. thanks to Allah for opening up my eyes and my heart.. It's I who need help... maybe if I succeeded in changing myself for the better, than our love life will be close to perfect. (In Allah's will) Happy Nine Months Of Love Sweet Heart! I love you so much honey and my parent loves you too... (: So do complain more about me to them okay sayang... Ahhh menyampar! :P

And btw... we held this 'TwoDaysOneNight Camping The Army Style' last Saturday and it was extra extra Awesome max! We cooked food using solid fuel and the food tasted very nice... hahah!!! Thanks to baby... he spent a lot on food and camping stuff to ensure that the plan works. The weird part with that two days I shall call it an 'Out-field', is that my mum never calls me at all; No, not ven a single missed call but... she called my hubby instead. Urm... was that supposed to be a good thing? -,- Haha... wanna know something? B told me that I do snore and drool when I'm asleep and I kept pushing his hand away from me.... Weee~! "This is what we call 'Effort' eh b?" hehe...
Anyway.... Thank you so much honey for all that you've done in my life and in our relationship... I truly much effingly love you from the bottom of my heart. I may not be the best girl you've ever had but definitely I wont be the girl who will hurt and disappoint you at the end of the day. Amin....

Haha... love you NurHidayat Bin Mohd Kassim! Good night and sleep tight honey. Sorry if this post seems dis-organised and of course sorry for taking too long to make an update on this post. I'm sure that you are eager to see whatever that I've put up in my blog. Sayang sayang baby... Muaaacckkkkkssss!!

All other Pictures and Videos will be uploaded in the next post. I promise!

Smurfing-Eid 2011

2011-09-02T17:56:00.003+08:00

Hey there... Let me introduce to you to my Beloved Family...!! *Picture above* (:
More Pictures To Be Uploaded In Both My Picasa And Blog Account. (In God's Will)
Eid2011...

feels different without my late grandpa hence still, everyone in my ENTIRE family still celebrate it happily like ever before. I've received a lot of raya collection despite of my age and yes, I'm no longer a teenager. "People said that I don't look old for my age but instead, I'm young at heart". Lol. Sucks big time too, cause I'm missing B like super hell much. He's frequent late replies as a result of being too busy has annoyed me pretty much. Received an unique Ang Bao from B in which it consist of mainly coins -It does however adds up to the notes in the green packet that my families gave to me. My raya outing with my families and friends has not yet ended so I'll expect more of green packets? (:

I'll have to doll up soon after I've finished update on this post. I'm meeting beloved like again and again.. let me tell you a secret.. My B is a big bully! He loves to bully me and when it's my turn, he'll sulk by showing that kid-like-sulking expression on the face and he'll do whatever it takes to make me feel guilty. *Geram!* You know what happened in the morning? I wished him good morning through SMS as I wanted to be nice to him but than he replied me this... "Morning Sayang! I can't believe my eyes seeing ur text msg greeting me in the morning.. once in a blue moon..." and so I continued replying after seeing that 'once in a blue moon' part which is super disturbing.. I said, "Hehe... It's a day in a lifetime when everything seems magical.. (:" and he answered, "I smurfing love you!". Haha... Okay conversation was partly extracted from the movie, "The SMURF" so ya I think you should watch it. It's a great show after all!

Why am I So Weak?!

2011-08-29T20:33:00.001+08:00

I need someone... I feel so fucking weak... Im trying my best to hide my non stop tears... I keep telling myself to stay strong and calm. But I'm just too weak... Freaking weak...

Selamat Hari Raya Everyone!

2011-08-29T18:58:00.004+08:00

I can't wait for today to end, I can't wait to doll up tommorow and have more updates on life with my dearest cousins. Hopefully mum let me follow my grandma, aunties and cousins to Atok's grave tommorow morning after Hari raya prayer. I'll be glad to visit atok on the first day of Syawal. On top of that, I can't wait to receive more and more 'Ang Bao'..! I just came back and I'm all shagged. F sent me home after accompanying F to bazaar Geylang. I've got a free ride home yeah! At least I can save up my Ez-link value a bit. Thanks F! At last, exams are officially over. Gosh~! After all the stressed that I've put myself through I bet now I can let my brain rest for awhile. Now, I really don't know what to do... I wanted to help grandma with the cookings but she refused to let me do so because she's worried for my back. So ya.....! I shall wait for 'Takbir' and let myself cry my eyes out? This year raya celebration sucks big time, we loss one of our family member and he's memories with us when he's still alive, remains vivid in my mind. I miss him too much. This year's raya is the most sorrowful moment I've ever experience. I feel so empty, it feels like my heart got ripped off and my mind went blank. I am freaking sad and I should be really thankful for those who gave me moral support by making me smile at least just now. Thank you to all my friends... I really appreciate it much. (:

Most of my friends will be having house-warming party during raya season and I was invited. Thanks lovers! In God's will, I'll attend the house-warming party alright?! . . . To my readers, whoever you are... do forgive me for all the things I have ever done to offend you in any ways. For all the words that seems to pierce you through, I'm sorry. And also, do enjoy your raya celebration this year and for those whom are still schooling, happy collecting of green Ang Bao right! Minal aidil' wal faizin.

Ok this is fucking disturbing... I'm fucking crying... Fuck My Life! I hate this year Raya! I fucking hate it...!

Close To My Heart

2011-08-27T01:24:00.006+08:00

Oh hello again! Let me introduce you to my only best of the bestest best-friend I had. He's real name is a secret and we've promised to keep it only between us. So let's just addressed him as Mr 'Kenet'. Mr Kenet is meeting his twentieth of age next month and the sweetest part is that both my best-friend and my prince charming have the same birth-date and year. The only difference are their places of birth. Mr Kenet was born in a private hut in the Garden while my prince was born in a private hospital in town. Mr Kenet does so many great things in my life, he never makes me angry and we hardly had any misunderstanding with each other. We love to share our problems and Mr Kenet understand me best(Same goes for my prince). Mr Kenet has a very high-level of optimism and that explain why he loves to pose with a thumb-up in almost every pictures we took together. Mr Kenet is really a nice man even my prince agree to it. My prince once said, "Sayang(love), your best-friend has a well-defined look, he's too kind and good-hearted. I'm sure all the ladies out there will go gaga over him. Well, let's just not talk about the height; Overall, he's awesome. He's like my idol you know love? How I wished I was born a girl. I would have grabbed every opportunity to be with him. I can't imagine myself standing and looking at him standing urm.. supposedly kneeling down and propose to me about us? Right honey?" Haha... See..! I told ya.. Mr Kenet is really... really urh I swear he's amazing. Perhaps, some of us may find him cute to the MAX while others, may find him to short for his age. Indeed, love isn't always about the physical aspect of the partner right? Kenet, thank you SO much for being such a wonderful bestfriend.. *bend down and hug* Oh ya... I don't ditch my BESTEST FRIEND just because I've already got attached to this guy below ok?!

I thank God for having such a great shorty cute best-friend and the most charming prince in my life. Thank you Kenet and B...! You both rock my life! Love you all. Muah!

Hello Poo Kiss!

2011-08-25T03:01:00.008+08:00

It's annoying when some FUCKING FAT puki-tiangs out there criticise others for other people's flaw when they themselves honestly look fugglier than the people they criticised. Their faces are super ugly, their fats are all covering every inch of their body figure and they still have the guts to insult others when they should instead mind their own BODY first! Some pukitiangs talk about girls with thin eyebrows but in real life, their own mum has that what they claim as, 'Kening kaki lipas' or in English, Cockroaches legs thus worse as their mummy don't even own any. 'Kening kaki lipas' is still better than 'Kening mayat'. Agree? I seriously don't understand these group of people. They had their head so high up in the cloud, they don't even realised their own facial abnormalities. It's no longer mind over matter my dear poo-kiss it's mind your own body you fucking dougebags! Trust me, these kind of people are highly in denial of their true self.

MR MICKEY I CUTE GILER AH!

2011-08-24T14:29:00.004+08:00

(This picture was taken last Sunday when he came to my house and pujok me, he was lying on the pillow that was on my lap so I'm the one who came out with the ideas to make him look like a mickey mouse himself, only cuter! Thanks to my bro who helped him take so many pictures of his face with Mickey mouse ears. And.. like I've said in previous post, the rest of the pictures will be uploaded soon. So yeah.)

Tense.

2011-08-24T12:46:00.010+08:00

I'm busy studying my brain juices off for my exams and so is B and my younger bro. (: I reckon this is somewhat Singapore's exam period? My exam will end this Monday on Raya Eve which is totally un-cool and paper starts at 8.30am. How nice! I really hope all my hard-work pays off at the end of the day while as for my B and bro, I'm sure they can pass their exams with flying colours as they are a couple of smart-ass. I've experience a special exam treat from B and it's so special that I'm sure your boyfriend don't even do that for you. Haha envy me. My B did almost everything to make me feel happy. He knew I love to eat at Seoul Garden also, he knew I was so tense up about my screwed-up FYP evaluation and my exams. So, he decided to give me a treat with a hope that I'll be happy, I'll never scold him anymore and that I'll knew how much he loves me. Super sweet kan?! I know. (= My B never failed to impress me with his frequent surprises and he did that the most last week. So what happened was last Friday, he appeared in front of my house when all the while I thought he's in camp. He kept on asking me to open the door when at first, I ignored because I thought maybe it was a prank. When I asked about his presence to my house, he said that the day is on the Nineteenth and I'm a month older. On top of that, he said he want to study with me and so we did. (:

As for Saturday, we had our usual meet-up and he brought for me my new-all-time favorite dish (Macaroni and Cheese) that he cooked by himself when he was seriously unwell. There's this day I was in my friend's car than I told my friend that my b is meeting me in school as he has cooked for me some food to eat during break-time and all of them in the car was like.. 'Wahhh...' and one of them said, 'your bf so sweet ah. You know it's very rare to have a boyfriend that actually cooked something for the girlfriend at his house and bring it to the girlfriend school. Your boyfriend live where one?'. I replied, 'Tampines' Auto reaction from my friend was giving that irritating shocked faced than she said, 'Wah... so far. CB! I ask my bf to cook for me also I must come his house than get to eat.' The best part is when break-time ended, I stepped in class than my usual smoking clique goes, 'Full already?' *Fucking irritating I swear!* haha

Than Sunday came, I was sulking the whole day and B came my house and pujok me. (: Well, as for yesterday, B was sick and he wanted to break-fast outside but instead I told him to break-fast at my house. Mama also said can as she already bought Chicken rice for break-fast.

Today... I really want to go kubor but no one to accompany me - maybe I'll go by myself. I want to see kubor atok as I miss him and I want to decorate his kubor since he won't be celebrating Raya with us at home anymore. I cried whenever his face appear in my mind at random times; those scolding, those advises, those folk stories and those memories I had when atok is around. I still remembered him chasing me to beat me up when I was a kid as I love to disturb him. I missed the time we had our last holidays in Genting with my whole families when atok was about to get sick, when atok is still plump-size. I didn't believe his gone forever. I don't know why... he appeared on my mind these few days and yesterday I dreamt about him, B's family and mine and it all happened at the same time. It's the same place that I ever dreamt about and I dreamt about the exact location again only now I know why. I love you atok. I know I may not be your best grand-daughter when you are still alive, I know I love to disturb you or rather annoy you, deep in my heart I love you so much and that I hope you should know by now the ones who really love you and nenek and the ones who are just pretending. I love your stories you used to share about ghost when I was a kid, synopsis about your past of who you really are and I know your favorite fruit atok! Wait okay... I'll come to your house and decorate it even if I'll be going there alone, I will just to see you.

Urm... I'll upload all the photos and videos soon. Maybe tommorow or something.

Counting Down-Days To Syawal..

2011-08-22T01:45:00.006+08:00

I seriously didn't realised that in 'Five' no 'Six' more days till we've reached the end of Ramadhan; not until B told me about it. I need to confess something though: This year's hari raya celebration sucks big time!

1) I'm lacking of stuffs to doll up myself.

2) My baju kebaya/kurong (Wtv they call it), looks super trashy and it's such an eyesore to see me in it when looking at myself in the mirror.

3) I'm wearing my old dusty heel. I first planned on wearing a nine-inch white heel. Fucking hell!

4) I'm using my old typical handbag. Wtf! Yes.. It is typical cos I use that on casual days. I lost my handbag that suit the colour of my baju melayu. Daddy loves to arrange things around the house and later forget where he places it. Argh...!

5) My skin are all tanned up. Sumpah tak bedek. I'm out with B pretty uncountable times and letting my skin exposed under too much sunlight. Well.. that explains why I'm no longer using the second most fairer tone foundation but, the last three tone - towards the darkest. Hence, if you bitches think my skin are typically like yours then I suggest you don't count me into your 'chocalate-tanned skin' society as you should really know the ultra major differences between you bitches' skin colour and my ACTUAL skin colour. Yeah?

6) My hair is not even rebonded yet!

I know,I know I should cut-off with all the whining but I just want to look presentable in front of my FAMILIES la... B keep on giving me heart-warming words just to please me but it's not working on my side... ): I didn't complete all that I want on the checklist.. ): Ni NEA punye pasal ah...! Am I supposed to be happy this raya season..? FML. I shall re-blogged today's post about my life updates so Fuck yeah.

He's NurHidayat Bin Mohammad Kassim and He's all mine.

2011-08-15T12:22:00.009+08:00

Baby... why are you so lovely? The way you want me to pamper you- treat you like a baby, showing that cute little kid's expression on the face whenever you sulk and always cuddle your head on my chest area. Why b? Why have you been such a cute, sweet and lovable boyfriend all the while I'm with you? Love, thank you so much for all the efforts you've put into this relationship, for trying your effortlessly best to make the state of our relationship better of each day, for your care and concern, for being patience through facing downturn and for always be there for me through thick and thins of life and also for that never-ending love you've showered me with. I've never felt so happy and secured before until I have met you. Even last night when I sent you a text message and asked you for the '6 reasons why you choose me to be yours as I know there are so many pretty and better girls out there waiting for you'; You've never failed to reply me with the utmost sweetest reply like, 'All my life, I've been searching for someone that cud make me smile through the bitterness of life, n that's by the presence of yours. You've proved me wrong when I think love would never be fun. It's just unbelievable to have someone who have almost everything the same (jinx) as you. Listening to someone wasn't that easy till it came to you. You made me miss you until I always miss my last bus.' Aww baby..I LOVE YOU. TYSM! *Huggies~!*

Our mini yet memorable celebration on our 8 months. Seconds... Minutes... Hours... Days... Months... and soon to be Years... passed by in a swift but what remains is the love we've built ever since Twelve-Twelve, Two-Thousand Ten (TTTTT). I (Nur Shahidah) solemnly swear that there's only you (NurHidayat) and only you in my heart and it's you (NurHidayat) that I spent most of my time thinking about and thus, they wont be NurShahidayat without Me (Nur Shahidah) and you (NurHidayat).

Well... these are quite recent pictures that I took from B's mobile phone and Oh! We've got the same phone and the only two number that are available in the Singtel phone-number list selection. Our numbers are just a digit away and no one else in Singapore could have the similar number as us cause it's limited to 'Just the Two Of Us, Love-birds'. (=

Shopping Spree!

2011-08-12T12:31:00.004+08:00

Before I start off this post, I've got more updated pictures on 8 of August! Thanks to Aishah for the pictures she emailed me. I've uploaded it to Picasa.. Here's the link:
https://picasaweb.google.com/111613667229058650162/8AugustWithBabylove?authkey=Gv1sRgCPK2hZqAg4iIwgE

Happy 8 months and still counting hubby!!! I love you so much NurHidayat I swear...!!! It has been a pleasure having you in my life; Your presence mean so much to me. So long as my heart still beats, it will be you and only you that I need. No matter how intense or uptight our relationship may be at times, I'll never just give up on our love so that easily. Why would I simply let OUR LOVE go in the blink of an eye when it's hard to get it in the first place? Am I right. . .? Just because I go hard on us sometimes, it doesn't mean I took our love lightly (or in other words for granted). Love starts off by letting our eyes judge on the physical aspect of the other party; However, as days passed by, that's not the main thing that we look up for in Love thus it's about the ability to appreciate the heart/feelings of the other partner. That is the reason why we humans feel as though our life has been ripped off upon break-ups. As for me, I've accepted you for who you are regardless if it's good or bad because I've made the choice to be with you for the rest of my life, because these are all His plan and he knows what's best for NurShaHidayat. Once again, Happy 8 months my sweetheart. Nur Shahidayat Kini Dan Selamanya! Baby you're the best! Best I ever have.. Baby you are my everything... You're all that I ever wanted...!! I SAYANG YOU AH KENET! *HUGS* (=

Anyway blogger! I had so much fun for the last three days with baby. We had our Shopping Spree in town and fabulous dinner for two consecutive days. I bought for B Topman reddish pant, Uniclo Long sleeve and Shades... Haha... I choose ONE hor.. Oh well I've got a great fashion style lah katekan and I don't go for typical Mat/Minahs fashion style okay... Fuck Ya'll *Hmph* And and... Hubby I look super HOT! Haha ahh Panas! Well I bought a bag full of Clothes-Footwear .. Ya serious! Than we had our dinner at Ngee Ann City's Seoul Garden. And well.. as for yesterday, my younger brother tagged along with us and we had our dinner at SAKURA. We stuffed ourselves with food and we ended up lying on a bench and not having the ability to walk. Sumpah tak bedek. Next time we go shopping lagi okay baby... In God's will.

More pictures click Here:
https://picasaweb.google.com/111613667229058650162/ShoppingSpreeWithBaby10082011?authuser=0&feat=directlink

Today isn't like yesterday or the day before yesterday. Baby's having his duty on our 8 months and he'll only book out from camp tommorow morning. *Sedeh!* So I told Mama to go bazaar today instead and purchase my Baju Melayu that has to be worn during the month of Syawal because I'm meeting my hubby tommorow morning. I can't wait (=

Sweet-Stuff

2011-08-09T10:13:00.008+08:00

Morning loves. . . ! I've had my shower, I've dressed up nicely and I've put my make up on. Only that now I will have to wait for my beloved prince to wake up! He told me this on the phone yesterday:

Hahaha... Perangai Baby.. Hmph~! *roll eyes* And the special someone who is suppose to wake me up, is still having his dreamland..? Anyway... baby.. I want those pictures in your phone. Puhlease..? (:

Oh ya... I had dinner with Baby's family last night, it's a pleasant and welcoming environment (TYSM!) and plus (TYSM!) for the great food though I've never ever tasted turkish food ever in my life before except for those pasar-malam's kebab which I didn't know it's originated from Turkey? Okay wtv right. On top that, Happy Anniversary Pakcik and Makcik, thanks for the invitation really do appreciate it much! Below are all the pictures we took AFTER dinner and when we have become so MASAI indeed haha.. The pictures during that dinner itself are all with my Baby's third brother's GF which I look fat in it so don't bother (But I'll still wait for the pictures lah haha AND ONLY if I still don't get the pictures, I'll STALK for the pictures Yeah?! (= ).

By the way... Baby just called me and he told me to FETCH him at Tampines. So, I should have told him I just woke up too right? Instead of 'Oh B I da Siap ni semue...' Lol. Never mind.. Sayang punye pasal bus 27 jugak I naik cari Bby.

Ps: Ahh never mind.. Blogger picture upload engine is super slower than a snail glide a thousand miles (Faham?). I shall upload it to (B and I)'s Picasa Web-Image Account. Here's the link:

https://picasaweb.google.com/111613667229058650162/8AugustWithBabylove?authkey=Gv1sRgCPK2hZqAg4iIwgE

And Nurlina Baharuddin... I've received your text message regarding this Saturday's plan to break-fast with the girl. I've been busy with FYP upcoming evaluation so I'll update you very very soon. Love you girlfriend. Haha

Ramadhan - A Special Month Of The Islamic Calender

2011-08-02T13:03:00.006+08:00

Fasting month forced me to be patient and not flare up so easily. It teaches me how to be a lady with a good moral and values in life. Fasting month too helps reduce the FATS stored underneath my skin. And in fact, fasting month let us feel the life of the poor who are starving as they've got no money to buy food -Well, in a way.. it let us learn how to appreciate and be thankful to whatever we are given from God. So, replenish the sin; Ask forgiveness from God and don't forget to FAST! We only get to celebrate it once annually! Don't come asking me how we people survive by not eating and drinking... Come on! What's the kick? You won't die of hunger by not eating less than 14 hours and that is SCIENTIFICALLY proven. What about those poor families who don't even get to taste the food even after the sun set? -,-

Baby is sick and I am still very irritated the fact that I CAN'T be there with him when he is so so sick. You know that trashy feeling of 'I CANNOT be there and it's not like I won't be there or I don't want to be there; I just CANT be there' kind of situation? It's kinda sad -really, when.. on the other hand, they can and always be there around you when you are in pain. *Super un-fair!* I got so worried, I cried at night and I just can't sleep well as I keep waking up to look at my phone. I pretended to be okay whenever he calls me.. I'm at my wits end and worst, I don't even know how to react to whatever he told me about yesterday's incident. Because why? I'm helpless. I know that you wont be viewing my blog and even if you do, it won't be the exact day I posted out this post. Therefore even how fucked up I feel to see you in that terrible condition... Baby... get well soon alright.. I may not show you that I care but you will never know what lies deep beneath my heart. I know dear love that I may not feel the pain that you are enduring, but baby... please... all I can do is pray to Allah in this most special month that Baby will recover soon and always be at the best of health, always! Amin. I do love you sweetheart... ... Forever and For eternity.

I miss hugging and kissing you... I rindu sangat dengan baby.. ):

Ps: It makes me tear up everytime I hear this song (The song which is playing as my blog song.) I remembered the time I sat with B at Punggol Park; the day before he enters his posted out camp. The day he dedicated for me Bruno Mars song but ended up has no link to me then he kept on changing until he gave up... That day was like super long time ago.. Kinda miss those days with baby... )':

Anyway it's time to dig up old photos:

Present:

Past:

PERIOD!

2011-07-28T14:42:00.004+08:00

Holaa! Blogger... I miss you! LOL Okay... Baby cooked for me Macaroni and Cheese twice and it was super deliciously marvelous! I came out with the common phrase 'Inseparable just like Macaroni and Cheese' but he's in disbelief proclaiming that I've took the phrase somewhere in the net. Oh well... it sounded so common ONLY WITHOUT the Macaroni and cheese; And that explains why you can't find the phrase on the web. I look at the dish you cooked for me and about the taste; The macaroni just goes well with lots of cheese sticking on it, simply awesome. If BJ kadir happened to be there tasting the food you cooked for me, he'll give you not 'TIGA' not 'EMPAT' but 'LIMA O' (Hmmm okay I don't even know what it means.) Thank you so much love for the effort you put in to make the most delicious filled with lots of love dish I have ever tasted ever in my whole world-wide life; It makes me coming back for more.

Sunday -17th July 2011, the day we played badminton at one of the exibition hall with Din, my younger brother. They called it 'The battle of the most unbeatable school' and the "participant' were; Love representing 'Springfield Secondary School', Din representing 'Montfort Secondary School' and the lady Queen(myself) who specially represent my former HOT-STUFF school, 'CHIJ Saint Joseph's Convent'. CHIJ has shown to be the unbeatable ones as compared to the two other schools. Oh well... *flick hair* Alahhh... If the ladies from CHIJ tak hot, takkan 'mat-mat' Springfield terpikat kan... Huhuu... ^,^

Class will end in a minute time and despite the boredom-ness environment in class, I've managed to crack it out with the ladies (facilitator included) in class through cam-whoring in class. 'Cam-whore' was implemented because ladies just love to take pictures and they just want more of it. Ladies became the whore of all cameras, off-set to reveal their beautification. Okay that is so far off from the main topic... Anyway, I hope to meet up with love today. Can't stand living without him. A day seems like a decade when he isn't around me.

Errrr What?

2011-07-22T13:55:00.005+08:00

Oh hey blogger! I super duper happy today though I had the most "FINE" day, yesterday. Can't wait to meet up with my hubby later after school as MY SWEETEST BOYFRIEND cooked for me a sumptuous dish ever! Hmm.. I wonder what did he cooked for me.. Oh Allah, I can't wait! I love you sayang so lebih banyak! Eeeekkk~! :D

I got 'FINE' yesterday on the most finest day of my life! Just plain... Whathafuck! $300 out of my packet and to the government yeah?! Haha how awesome.. Of so many people spitting, peeing, littering, sitting, drinking, eating, kissing, hugging, molesting, etc etc; Why must it be me?! Why me out of those gazillion being in Woodland area?! It was the smallest mistake that I think God will close an eye about it. *Throwing cigarette butt on the ground AhJE! Eleh... macam merepek right.. Ahhh.. *roll eyes* Stupid "MALAY-BLOODED" NEA dogs who caught no one else BUT specifically malay youth whose parent are trying their effortly best to embrace themselves up in this country. And you PEAS still have the guts to say... "NOW saye pilih kasih?" Ya, ya... You've proofed that you've caught another malay youth? Whatafuck sia you PEA-WITH- THE-COCK-PEA-COCK! You fucking made your own community suffer more in this society. If there are any forum about 'KILLING your own race', than count me in than I shall have a say in it. I ain't being racist as I can't be but I'm pretty upset with some certain groups of self-proclaimed "MALAYS" in this country.

Alright... *breath in, breath out*

I wonder where's my B?? ... Is he somewhere in my school? Somewhere in the area? Somewhere near? Somewhere in my heart? Somewhere in my skirt? Hahahaha Kidding only ah...! *Don't anyhow thing dirty one hor!* Oh well, I'm ending class soon as we've reached the last presentation of the day. So much of fun moment in school today. Thank You my friends. Oh blogger, I need to show you something... *scroll down*

Niceeeee? Plus++ The date of the offence is on the 21st which is the same exact number that I've gotten for the previous offence from Health Science Authority(HSA). Yahh thanks a mill!

Baby look so cute, am I right? This picture was taken last week on Saturday night; On my bed of course... or shall I say Sunday Morning after we've went back from slacking and playing badminton at hours after midnight when most Singaporean must have been drooling or into their dreamland at that particular moment? Love those 5 hours of slacking outside with you when the city sleeps. So much of Love etc. Xoxo~! (:

Nothing else matters when it comes to YOU.

2011-07-19T13:28:00.010+08:00

Baby slept over my crib last Saturday and we really do have fun for the straight three days. I didn't update a post on our 7th month which was stored in the draft. Well, since I'm pretty much late to wish our 7 months in my blog so... "HAPPY 7 MONTHS OF LOVE AND STILL COUNTING TO US, LOVE-BIRDS!!" We've survived through 7 month plus in this relationship thus our love remains strong like ever. Though we do misunderstand each other at times, we managed to successfully pull it through those harsh moment of our love life -together. Thank you baby for being there with me through those thick and thins of life. Without you, my life would be meaningless as you define the perfection of living in this world. 7 Months 7 Days and still counting; our love grew strong at each second the clock ticks. I just need you NurHidayat. I only look out to you and no one else. I lie my hopes on no-one except for you. I know that only you will make my life complete. I wish that you'll be the one, God choose to be my soul-mate. It was you that I ever wanted from the start. I love you sweetheart. 'Shahidayat, now and forever..'

P.s : Wah baby... It's a week more till fasting month starts and the boring part is that I must control my desperate eagerness to hug and kiss you. Ouhhh... so sad. But fasting month only means one thing - Hari Raya is just around the corner and I can't wait to meet your mummy. And, I can't stop but to feel so excited to celebrate my first Ramadhan and Raya year with you love.. Jom pergi masjid! Haha... Ummm baby, you promised~!

Here's all the pictures we took during the three awesome Days that love had with me:

**Pictures Depict Our Lifelong Memories**

Alright... Until than... Peace be with you. Xoxo~!

Much love,
Shasha (Shahidah)

Blogger? Like always.

2011-07-16T00:41:00.006+08:00

I'm helping mum to upload pictures of her marriage days in her newly created Facebook account at this hour. Gosh~! She's still not asleep yet. She keeps on asking me to open up my facebook account so that she can look at all those pictures but since I din't own any FB account, I suggested that I'll help her create one for herself and she agreed. The process of uploading pictures in facebook is super long and I'm still waiting for it till it finishes uploading the picture in her picture album. Oh well...

I think I've cried enough just now. And having that time alone, I reflected on how messed up my life is. I laugh upon looking at myself crying alone. I repeatedly told myself that I can't be that stupid weak Shidah in the past anymore. I can't be that weak person anymore. Though it hurt me so much deep within, I know it for myself that I can get over with it. I think I'm all stressed up already. Why bother when they don't even care? I've faced through rejection in my life. I've get through all those shits in my life. I've encounter failure in my life. I've succeeded at the end of the day. I've embraced myself up. I've faced reality myself and I wouldn't expect another round of shit. I've FACED IT. Did you? People say I'm stupid enough to hurt myself upon failing to face reality. But I tell you what people... You are definitely wrong. It is through my own stupidity that I've learn how to be a strong lady. If you have observed the evil things happening to you right in front of your eyes, you'd probably learn to be more aware and careful the next time am I right? It's exactly like what I did. I've picked up this mentality that if a person really loves you, they will persevere to really wanting to know the in and out of YOU. Love is appreciating the value of the other party's heart. Does anyone knows the real definition of the word 'Ap-pre-ciate'? Then how to know if the person appreciate you? How to know if the person really loves you since different people has different ways to show their love? Then again, how to know if the love is for real? ... How I wish someone is able to provide me with the most convincing answer with an explanation to it.

Tears are for bull to shit okay?

People, Fuck Yeah!

2011-07-15T13:21:00.004+08:00

What a stressful day... I'm prepared to retain another semester in poly which only means that I'll be graduating only with next year's batch. All thanks to FYP. As what my friends advised me about letting the module chair know what's happening in my FYP team. Rara said that my advisor ask her to concentrate in her search part which means the OCR part is my responsibility to ensure that the work is done. Let me tell you something: I, Nur Shahidah, decided to take on the task of doing the most difficult task in the project though by heart I know I'll face many difficulty in doing it. I thought having to take the risk, I could get the help from my other team mate but, this is what I get? I cannot get help from anybody since it's my part of the whole project? Is he insane? Does anyone even pity me in the first place getting all stress up finding help from programmer in the US(external vendor) just to help me out in my work and I still couldn't get the answer? So if I cannot get anything done by the end of the day, it's going to be my lost lah just because I didn't finish my task? Oh... I didn't know that by the end of the day, this project is an individual project. Wow...! How amazing! Ok mum... I'm prepared with all those nagging that are up on your sleeves if I failed to lift up to your expectation. Like seriously, I think you should put yourself in my shoe rather than ensuring that I will lift up the name of our family just because I'm the first child. This "challenge" system that my whole family adopt is plain stupid, lame and fucked up. Don't blame me or anyone else around me if things doesn't go the way you wanted to. Okay... It's my life so whatever shit I'm facing, just let it be. I'm prepared to get all those criticism and through mouth of words, I'll get that impression from other family member so Thank You So Very Very Much. Anyhows... I'll make sure I'll get that degree cert one fine day. So, should I just fuck care on my project?

Let me tell you something... You shouldn't have judge someone to be a MATREP/MINAH-REP based on how they dress up. All you have to do is look at how they behave. What's the point of not having the MINAHREP/MATREP look when in real life you still go around snatching other peoples' only love in their life. What's all that for again? Not MATREP? Not Minah Rep? Yes...? No...? Matrep/Minahrep are those 'Malay/Javanese/Boyanese/etc PIE KIA' (Whatever shit ah kay?) who literally act in certain uncuth way in their life that will ended become a disgrace to the society. Do all these information ring those Chime bells? I hope so.

Look I really had enough of crying over and over again. Tears are flowing not literally out from my eyes but in my heart. I was super quiet in school nowadays. I didn't talk or laugh if there's no need to. I'm no longer like last time who would crack jokes and everyone in the cl;ass will laugh non-stop. I get pretty step-a-back over all those problems I faced and how lowly I feel. Some people thought I'm arrogant and that I've changed a lot that they stop getting close to me. What are all those cold shoulder treatment for? There are so many friends and I don't care even if I lose some you know? WTF~! -__-

Just make me happy will do and all I ever asked for is to make me feel special.

It's been so long.

2011-07-14T14:51:00.007+08:00

Dear blogger,

I'm meeting dearest in a while time. Every single moment I had with him, it became the most remarkable memories that I wish I had the time to share all of it in my blog. I knew it for myself that I can't possibly give a detailed account based on 'how what when why' every single minute of my life. It's pretty impossible. I wish that B would know how much I truly love him and maybe that's the reason my heart pump so fast whenever his around; It's like as if my heart is jumping for joy when it sense his presence. I really do hope that B loves me just as much as I love him though I might not have shown it so much through actions but emotional wise, I hope he does feel it too. I really love him too much that I cannot tolerate if any girls tries to get into our way even if they can just be his normal friend. Futhermore, I've studied risk management in today's module, therefore by not mixing around with the opposite sex will indeed reduce the risk of getting ourselves involved in a 'Love triangle'. Get the point now?

B keep wishing that one day he'll find a girl that would appreciate him just as he's willingness in giving his whole heart to that someone. In fact, everyone does wish for the same thing too B. Who wouldn't want to be appreciated after you have sacrifice every single thing about you to that particular person whom you adore the most? Who wouldn't want that, am I right? It's the same procedure that everyone initiate when it comes to Love. I pray that I'll be that someone in your life but life journey is super long and I know anything may happen along the way. That 'someone' you are referring to, can simply be 'ANYONE'. I fear that God isn't siding me in this relationship that we've built so far. I always had this fear of not being able to be with you my whole life because; Just like everyone else, I'm just a weak person who can't fight the power of fate. At the same time, I do wish that I'm born a kidnapper only that I won't kidnap anyone else but you. Hence still, being that kidnapper only means one thing - Unfair.

Based on my past account of my life, I do admit that I have hurt and played around with so many people's heart and feelings. I never had the chance to seek them for forgiveness as I'm deliberately involving with relationship after relationship. From what I've heard, one of the guy was drowned at siloso beach and the body was nowhere to be found until the following morning. R.I.P ya boy..? I'm never once a faithful girl in a relationship regardless of how long the relationship is. I'm a flirt not that "Hot-stuff". Yes? But that is who I am in the past. Only once a upon a time, fate didn't side me and the truth was revealed. Yes 'Kena rabak2! '.. All those guys ended up knowing each other. WTF~! haha... So, luck turn its back at me and so I had a great fall in my life. I should thank God for all that has happened as it really does taught me so many useful lesson about life and how you can't fight fate. I've learnt that no matter how tight you hold on to that person, no matter how strong your un-willingness to let go, that wouldn't determine that the person will be with you forever. Time heals pain and after it did heals your broken-heart, you sense FREEDOM boiling up within you and all you ever bother is to enjoy life with your friends whom were there with you throughout! After all, your life is written by God. And also, I have learnt to accept fate and by accepting fate in my life, it turns me into becoming a stronger someone who would live my life ahead meaningfully. The feeling is just so awesome! Yeah~

Baby, you've changed me. You have really shown me the true world of love. I love you Baby. Thank you for everything. I pray to God to give me the strength and the courage to go through this relationship with you dearest. Having the similar dreams with exact scenarios, exact someone, exact place, exact speech etc, were truly much shocking and un-expected. Let me conclude something..: Dream is a fantasy; A believe that everyone wish it would come true. I love you NurHidayat.

Thank you & God bless!
Shasha

Wonders of Love

2011-07-10T23:49:00.008+08:00

Almost done with all these calls n report for the day. Serving my EXTRA since morning and as per normal, it always does'nt turn out to be good.

Planned for the whole day today, yet it turned out the other way. Even though i ALMOST got into it, it was'nt done the way i wanted it to.

The story of my life, keep searching for the right that always avoids me.
I really love your company, i even brought with me my phone charger expecting my phone battery to get washed away by lovely calls from my honestly gorgeous love angel. But, things won't just turn out the way we want it.

Calls after calls, parades and checks. Memo full of the day's event. I never missed you out on this. Such a sweet lovely voice would even sooth the heart of a gargantuan beast.

I listened closely to every pause you made. Love is all that your heart said.

The months we have been together
You have been a wonderful lover
All my worries seem as light as a feather
Because joy you have made me discover

Everyday, comes sunny or rainy weather
It no longer seems to matter
Just thinking of you makes things better
Because I know I have you as my partner

My love for you will last forever
All our times together I will remember
I know our future can be much happier
Because my love for you keeps growing stronger

I will remember the days to buy you a bouquet
Till Im old and my memory is in disarray
I now only have this to convey
That I love you and my love is here to stay

As i may not be able to write a post on this 12th. I wish you with my love.

!!!HAPPY 7th MONTHS OF TRUSTFUL LOVE TOWARDS US!!!

My Only Dearest - Hidayat

2011-07-10T15:37:00.008+08:00

Baby is in camp for EXTRA DUTY on SUNDAY aka OFF-DAY. Wth~! Tulah.. sleep some more ah sleep..! -_- Baby... climb up the fence ah meet me!! haha.. IMY already.. Later my B will reply with his trademark sentence, "Ah yelah. Bagos.." Cute-stuff lah you B. My B slept over my house on Friday night and he's with me all the way until Sunday morning. After our USUAL outing, we went to my grandma's house to visit her as she's very very sick though she's been in and out of the hospital twice. I went back home with back pain and the whole of my left leg numb KNN trouble my B only. )=

Oh yeah.. it's 2 days more to our 7 months of unstoppable/unbreakable/inseparable love.. Like woah-ha-ha-ha! Happy to the max! I don't know why but I'm so happy to be with you and I've never regretted to be with you and definitely I wouldn't even think of leaving you because all I ever prayed for is to be with you for eternity! B.. It's exactly 5 more months till our First anniversary!! OMG! Can you believe that?! Time flies so fast; After seconds, minutes, hours, days and months passed by, time brought 'ShaHidayat' closer to a year. I love you sweet heart so damn much and I'm starting to miss you yet again. Do take care while you're in camp alright honey?! Loving you, xoxo~!

I'm paying a visit to my grandma's home with my younger brother later when the rain stops. I wish B could come along with us too. Well, Mr Green-pixel is busy working so I shall not disturb him again or he will have more EXTRA DUTY than I'll die. Ok Bye!

Ps: Baby thanks for helping me find a song for my blog. TYSMB.. Heart you dearly!

...

2011-07-07T14:45:00.005+08:00

I WANT TO MEET BABY TODAY... Gahhh~! Why can't you green-pixel men with golden bars understand the situation that I'm in. I miss my B... Please just let him out every single day. I miss you lor B. I got exam today and when I finished I hope to meet up with you but, if you can't meet me than how am I supposed to be stress-free? Futhermore, it's after exam. Ok wait.. when am I getting my share? I want to go for shopping, dining and USS with baby love. Make it fast hor Daddy?! TYSVM! (:

What do you want to acquire when being in a relationship with SOMEONE? This is the question that not many people would think about. People are unaware about the reason in being in a relationship.. Most, I shall say, use the word 'LOVE' in vain thus ruining the main aspect of a RELATIONSHIP. Being in a relationship doesn't only involve liking/loving one another or making him/her the only special someone in your life; In fact being in a relationship involved a serious settled down responsibilities between partners in which, if you are seriously ready to treasure other person's heart and not take it for granted, than by all means do so.

It's a normal procedure that when a girl or a guy fell in love with each other, they tend to boast about it to the whole world just because they are proud to be with their love ones. Like what's the point of you having a "BREAK-PATCH-BREAK-PATCH-SINGLE-IN.A.RELATIONSHIP-SINGLE-ENGAGED-SINGLE-MINGLE-IT'S COMPLICATED" relationship? And when shit happens, you do not have any other choices to make but, to just stick around as you wouldn't want to suffer that great loss as a result of your unexpected-uncouth act. What goodness does it make having such an unstable stupid-lame-shit relationship right? Oh well.. That's is something you shit-heads should be embarrassed about.

"Do not be too complacent in any relationship. Maybe some people can still remain happy but many others cannot." - Shidah Fernandez

(Ps: Oh Kak Shidah... I agree to it a hundred percent! =P)

FYP is killing me slowing.

2011-07-05T02:28:00.004+08:00

Holaa...! I'm back! I'm so stressed up; I stayed up late at night cos I can't sleep thinking about my FYP. I've got less than 3 weeks if not I cannot graduate ah FUCK! haha.. I'm still counting on that little hope that I've got. *fingers crossed* I'm seriously am under time constraint and FYP forms up some what like a barrier or an obstacle for all the happiness moment you could actually grab so that easily. FYP sucks big time lah hah?! Nahhh... I wanna meet B every single day just like last week.. )= But b complained that he's tired and he'll be meeting me only the day after tommorow (Wednesday). Skipping tommorow's meet up simply means I gotta wait for another 24 more hours till I get to meet you again. Miss you too much already... *sulking* Never mind.. I still got your shirt with me than at least it can accompany me to sleep even without having to be with you physically. Alahh... I got to go to bed now... Mum is forcing me to go to sleep. So I shall re-blog today's post tommorow morning in school only if I'm not lazy. Baby... I miss you sayang... I bet you must have been snoring at the highest pitch already. Sweet dream love... *kiss-on-the-forehead* ... I love you.. (:

Eleh... sweet ah tu! Ah sudah.. Lupakan saja sayang. Sayang awak ini sudah ngantuk dan ini sudah pukol tiga pagi to be exact, so lagi satu jam sayang akan bangon while saya ganti snore. LOL. Night love..

2011-07-03T23:37:00.002+08:00

"HELLO..I AM THE BOYFRIEND..SHAHIDAH BARU HABES MERAJOK N I AM HERE WITH HER AT HER HOUSE." .... And yes! he wrote that and forced me to not delete it away and now he's looking at whatever I'm typing... o.0

I'm all stressed up about school stuff to be EXACT. *roll eyes* I just wish someone would give me a listening ears and comfort me instead of giving me an indirect sarcasm. Hmmmm...

@ my wits end, I'm feeling pretty fucked up.

2011-07-03T03:33:00.006+08:00

Denise yaww..! :D

Final-Year-Project: I'm still holding on to that little hope to get it done before 1st of August which includes the report, 3 burn disc etc. I've got to admit that I really can't cope it myself. "You both have less than a month to complete and I suggest you both split the work; than one do the OCR another do the searching part." Oh well. Fuck you faci! We are only left with two people in the team as one of them PS us last minute after weeks of delaying the whole meet-ups. *FUCK YOU FOR YOUR SELFISH BEING.* Sometimes advisor can be such a pain in the ass giving ineffective so-called "advises" and planning on with so many meet ups which is so much a waste of time. OCR itself takes up to approximately two-and-the-half pages long of codings and who am I supposed to get help from? FUCKING NO-ONE. At the end of the day, the quantity of the work done as an individual doesn't matter but whether it meet the requirement is all that matters. Argh... I shall see what I can do with Rara, about the unfinished project this Monday. When there's time, there's hope. I just got to believe in myself that I can face this obstacle together with my team mate. (:

OCR got stucked in my mind 24/7 leaving my brain a complete huge of mess.

Oh hell.. I think I'm under too much stress and my sensitivity gets too overwhelming that I flare up so often at people who start pin-pointing me for all those mistakes I've did in the past. Like seriously, it's killing me in the inside. I just need more comfort and encouragement; As that's the least that you people can do if you can't help me out with my problems. And yes.. I'm too depressed.

I love how the day started yesterday but I hated how it ended. Well.. all I can say is thank you so much for being "true"; I wonder how do you even judge me as. Oh ya people.. I did made up a lot of 'FAIRY-TALE' stories last time and all the confession made from me, were fake as someone noticed that the same stories changes throughout time. But, but... than... upon asking, someone told me that someone was referring to all the 'TEST' that I came out with and it was all a total misunderstanding. If I say I've never lied than that's a lie. It's sad to know how I've been judged based upon all the words I've said literally from the past account which sounded so fake? I don't know how the hell the whole topic about a fucker changes to an issue about me. A heart-breaking and a total turn-off for the period of time that I can at least fuck care about all my problems and just be happy. Thanks a million, someone! Appreciate it much.. (=

Ps: (Verbalizing all the sweet words to touch the heart of every single person in this world is meaningless as compared to the words that really comes from the bottom of your heart and that is real. - Untrue)

Stop It Will Ya?!

2011-06-28T11:26:00.005+08:00

I AM SO NOT into today's lesson, really. Lesson was super boring, facilitator was so into talking about his past love stories which is super not relevant to today's lesson! -.-" And now he's doing diagrams on the board about how he met girls in the past and how he find it hard to understand them. Urgh! God saves me please! Like faci..come on! I'm so not interested with your so-called "engaging and romantic" old-lover stories. You find it hard to get a girlfriend cos your face are so much badly disfigured. Enough said. _|_

I'm all stressed up about school work as year 3 is such a killer. Just imagine you had to do well in every sector of your studies which include all the important main task that you had to pass in order to graduate as a fully-certified diploma holder; Those task are like Final-year Project(FYPs), CE/NDA points which are so far from being able to complete and for my exams specifically for year three's. I know everyone is facing the same situation and undergoing the same amount of stress but as an individual, we do have different level of progress. Arghhh fuck lah! I can confirm that I will not be able to get into any other local Universities except for SMU. I've looked at the entry requirement and all they need is a complete 3 years diploma cert for local polytechnics and a good pass in O-Level Additional Mathematics which I did has achieved. Urgh... Help.. Help... I feel like crying. *sigh*

And Grandma, do get well soon okay?! It's has already been 5 days you have been warded, I shall pray for your speedy recovery. I miss my late-grandpa so so much like I still don't believe that he has gone leaving all of us. I miss you Grandpa, I hope you are happy by God's side. *sulk* All of the above, in God's Will Amin!

Oh baby... I miss you okay! I know we undergo through so many stress with workloads but definitely it wouldn't affect our relationship even a bit. I've took mum's advice and hearing to all those conversation between you and my parent was definitely so heart-warming. I was touched to know and continuously knowing that you love me so so deeply much. I thank God for whatever I've own in my current life. Without His plan, I don't think my life is ever so grateful.

Oh ya and B... I'm still waiting for the song you know? You know that song I plead you to sing for me? It's 'Kerna Ku Sayang Kamu by Dygta'. Oh please dear... The song is so meaningful to me and it's about how I feel towards you. Honey... I love you okay sweetheart. Love so very very dearly much B.

Tongue Tied (:

2011-06-26T02:27:00.003+08:00

I've deleted my recent post because B somehow convinced me and managed to make me feel better than ever. The only thing I could do now is to trust that the incident wouldn't happened again? Indeed, I'll just have to wait and see it with my own eyes because after all, it's easy said than do. (It's only a matter of time.)

I truly had a great day with B just now.. Oh well let's skip about our whereabouts at every hours of yesterday. We had lots of interesting topics to talk about and most of them somehow helped me to understand certain things better. For instance, I've asked him about the definition of 'LOVE' and although the word 'LOVE' by itself has no definite meaning to it in which I hope that B could provide me with an answer, B has in a way have this theory that helps me understand the word 'LOVE' best. Perhaps for me, 'Love is a mixture of feelings, it's indescribable. Instead, you are only able to feel Love. Love helps you understand and appreciate life better as for those who live/d around you throughout your lifespan; Obvious enough that life becomes chaotic without love. Love reasons out and only the heart knows it.'

Baby.. You Left Me Tongue-tied. ILYSMMM!

Kite - Miss - Baby - Kite!

2011-06-23T14:46:00.008+08:00

My Baby is busy working and has little time to talk to me on the phone. I know he will always find that free time even if it's a short one, to just give me a call and ask if everything is alright at home. I miss him so much and I'm wondering what is he doing at every hour of the day.

Will he still think of me even though he's so damn busy with work?

I don't blame him for having little time to talk to me on every working days, regardless if it's during working hours or after. I understand that he's undergoing too much stress and it makes him feel so shagged. I really hope his work loads will lessen as time goes by at least it helps lessen B's burden and let him have more rest. I'll be out here doing my part ensuring that I won't break any of the promises made; In fact, it is not that difficult if you were to do it for someone you love.. I would just have to go home straight after school, no loitering around without B, stop mixing around and no boy-friends at all. After all, it is better to share your happiness and sorrows with someone you love whom you are able to trust whole-heartedly and someone you knew it by heart, who will be with you for eternity. My B is the kind of person who doesn't ask me for much but all he ever wanted is that he wants me to appreciate him, care for him and do whatever it takes to show my love for him. A simple man, a simply-sweet relationship, just the way I love it.

I met B yesterday and even if we did spent time the whole day together, I still can't get enough of him. I keep on hugging him and trying to smell him off from his neck. Hence still, I ain't satisfied cos' I still can't stop missing him. I can't wait to meet up with him this Friday and on our usual Saturdays. I hope that in months and years to come, our love will still remain like this just like how it all started. I pray that we could face all those hardship together without having to affect our ties or better still, no more hardship even if it is a part and parcels of life. Perhaps, it's through hardship that we've learnt values in life and if we surpass through all those obstacle it will than makes our love for each other, strong and unbreakable! Oh well than either or, neither nor will break us up apart from God.

I love you sweet heart. I'll make sure I'll take good care of your heart and about your brain, it has been well taken care of and kept undisclosed in my pocket. Hope you well-treat my brain and heart too ah b! Heh! And Oh! Baby... I've found the secret equation to our love. It is:
"Shahidayat = Shared Square Root [Shahidah + Hidayat * (Now&Forever + Inseparable) - Obstacle]"

Much love,
Shasha

I Love My Cute-Stuff Boyfriend

2011-06-21T13:30:00.003+08:00

"Shahidayat, the squared-faced couple". It's you B.. Yes you! And it's me too but not exactly "me". Haha.. Because.. I.. DON'T... HAVE... SQUARED... FACE... But having squared face is kinda cool you know love? Haha... Anyway... Baby... I miss you so much.. Can't wait to meet up with you like tommorow morning! Haha... Super happy! I miss kissing you all over, hugging you like a fluffy teddy-bear, smelling your own HIDAYAT'S smell, cracking lame jokes with you and laughing at it all-night long, nagging at you (vice-versa) and many many more! Even if it's just two days without getting close to you physically thus just through phone-calls, I miss you like so badly dear. *cry* I love you so so much and I can't live without you... Awww... Haha rightt.. Eeenough already! *roll eyes* haha.. I miss you, I love you, you love me and you miss me until forever also wont stop.. So be it forever, our never-ending ever-lasting love!

"I'm gonna be the love that's gonna last
And be the one that got your back
Ain't nothing never that bad that we would be together
And though we both made our mistakes
And some we never wish we made
But we'll be okay if we just stay together"

I Love you baby baby baby! Baby... I can't wait to be yours truly MRS HIDAYAT! Haha.. We'll be addressed as "MR AND MRS HIDAYAT" in any formal occasion. Sweet right?!.. Ahhh tell me about it!

Updates!

2011-06-16T14:38:00.004+08:00

The phrase 'Pictures says a thousand words', depicts all the memories in my life; all those ups-and downs moments, were truly much appreciated. All that I've posted in my blog; those pictures I've uploaded, it will all became part of my own recollection of reminiscence. After days of emptying my blog without any updates, I'm piled up with lots of stories to share but since I'm under time constraints, I shall just talk about the in-thing that happened couple of days back.

12/06/2011 is the most unforgettable day for the whole of this month. It's a special day for me and my B. We had this mini celebration but it really does touched my heart and I thank B for his forever interesting idea; As expected his my 'Mr-know-everything' and in fact, his 'know-everything'-being has made me fall for him more each day. I'm super proud to have you in my life. And the best part, he slept over my crib on our 6 months. Now tell me.. how cool is that?!

Although it's part and parcels of life that in every relationship there will always be a downturn where everything get so messed up, those smile and laughter got ripped off from the face; And you just hate that feelings every time you quarrel like cats and dogs wondering when will it stop, you know deep down in your heart it's his/her name that your heart calls out for. It's strange when you can keep on quarrelling over those small little evil issues that causes the both of you to slowly putting in more fuel to the fire until that small little issue become an ultimately a big problem for the both of you. It's lame, but sometimes when it happens, your mind just shuts off and your mouth just couldn't stop swearing all those harsh words when by heart, you didn't mean it. Despite being the "Cute" lady with the most annoying mouth, B loves it so dearly. =P “It's me and my irritating mouth again.” It suits me so well right? That’s because I'm a lady and a lady, by nature, they talk non-stop too. *Laugh*. Anyway.. I'm really happy that we both managed to pull it through those hardships together and that feeling towards each other remains the same just like the feelings we had for each other from the start. So Congratulation and Happy 1/2 a-year Shahidayat! Baby, you are the most amazing someone I'd been dying craving for your love. I truly love you honey, I swear..! *Kiss-Kiss-Hug-Hug*

*skip*

And Oh Maria SG... I miss you too girlfriend! Xoxo~!

My IJ Clique

2011-06-09T18:55:00.005+08:00

Haha... Girls! look how we've changed throughout the years; From fat-to-thin, thin-to-fat, tall-shrink-short and short-grew-tall! Haha... I'm super fuggly last time -- fat and ugly, I repeat, LAST TIME. Haha.. anyway, I miss you girls to bits and we shall have an outing soon again, in God's will! I miss you girls..my only CHIJ SJC bimbotic-ness group of ladies!! Miss you ladies so so much! Took these pictures from Maria, thanks a million, love.

I MISS MY FATS, MY LONG HAIR AND MY UN-SHAVED EYEBROWS. YES? YES? Haha.. YES...

For The Happiness In My Life, I Thank God For It.

2011-06-09T15:13:00.014+08:00

Hey ya'll I'm back with more updates! First thing first, I will love to congratulate my beloved Abang and Kakak for having a baby boy. He's adorable and now my favorite little gossip girl is his BIG sister. Wow! How amazing?! Alright... you are still smaller than me okay little girl! Haha.. Never mind, you will always be my favorite though. Got to kiss the baby on the cheek.. Yeah~! Don't forget me when you grow up okay.. *sulk* Can't wait to meet up with them again.. )= Oh well, I wonder how the baby boy is going to look like when he grew up.. Hmmm... Maybe he will be as handsome as my dearest, right sweetie? I think he has a bit of your charm huh love? Heh... *roll eyes*

Anyway... I had two appointment tommorow at TTSH and I'm so not looking forward to it as it's gonna be such a waste of my time and money. B wanted to accompany for my appointment so at least I can enjoy myself cuddling in his arms while waiting. B... pray hard that everything will be alright okay because I called them just now and they said that, I will be given some more medication for consumption. I feel like a dead zombie wandering around on Earth - Reason being cause I'm always sick!

Hidayat sayang... hehehe... I miss every single thing about you even if we get to meet up more often nowadays, I still miss you... *cry* I miss the journey of our love. It all started when we were a total stranger; when I tried ignore you and you keep on trying to start a communication with me, it all happened because my dearest Ayla kept on leaving me wandering around without her by my side! (: But come to think of it, I seriously miss how it all started and I believe that it really does took a toll and that's is when God set the date for You and Me to know each other and along the journey when our love meets, we will be together. I want to be with you forever and ever and ever. No one could separate us apart from God. If there's still love in our heart for each other, there's still hope that our love will go far. Everything happened for a reason. We may reminisce on how terrible our past is, but time heals pain and now we know why things doesn't work out the way you wanted to in the past because no matter how much we tried to protect what we have in the past, it will not work out because after all this is God's plan. He has a plan for each and everyone of our life and he knows what's best for us and I prayed each day thanking God for letting me meet you, whom all along wishing for the same things in life which is; To be loved and to be with someone who really is going to treasure you and appreciate you for who you really are, to care for you and to love you like you are his/her life. Baby... just like you promised me to be with me for eternity, that is my promise for you, for us too okay dear? I Love You And Only You, NurHidayat. For all the happiness and love for 'NurShahidayat', in God's will, Amin.

I'm Not A Naughty Kid! Hah! _|_

2011-06-07T16:09:00.005+08:00

I came back to school for Final Year Project and now I'm in the lecture room for a 3-hours block workshop on Microsoft Project. Haha... Main intention for attending this workshop is to kill time so that after this, I can meet up with B since he book out this evening. I'm all alone without any friends.. How saddening? But my loner moment only last me an hour as I saw one of my friend. Oh oh.. than there's this guy whom is a total stranger to me, keeps on looking back at me than randomly asked me some random questions. Like WTH.. Even in the middle of the talk you know.. Argh? o_0 But okay lah at least his friendly enough to make friends with me when I'm the total opposite of it. Oh well what do you expect having the best boyfriend on Earth and that's all it takes to make you feel complete right...?

I smoked at the staircase just now, and now, I got butterflies in my stomach. That feeling of doing something for the first time. Haha.. Kental I know.. -_-" I don't break laws ok and yes I'm the type who go by the book. I'm not a daring person to be exact. Haha.. *like real* _|_

Ok I need to quickly finish up my work and I need to fetch my B outside his camp. Shall update soon right? Ok.. Adios!

Blair And Chuck (:

2011-06-06T19:31:00.004+08:00

Love it just like 'Blair And Chuck'!

Sweet Like Ever

2011-06-06T18:29:00.009+08:00

Holidays? Urmm.. It doesn't feels like I'm on vacation at all.. If any of the seniors said that year 3 is the most suckiest year in poly life, I agree to it like a hundred percent! I'm freaking stuck at home, project works are piling up and at the same time, I have to study for exam.. *grief* Shit! I'm so stressed up. Well, it all comes down to time management, yeah.. managing your time well that's what everyone says but no one told me that it wasn't going to be easy. I had to meet up with my project mates tommorow for FYP and I needed to be in school for some Microsoft Project workshop thingy. How long is the school vacation.. 2 weeks or 3 weeks to be exact? Hmm.. I wonder. Oh never mind about that.. "There are still a long long way to go and I am pretty sure that I can manage it all well.. In God's will though. -_-"

I've never came across such a boring day like today. Today is the most extra boring day for me and bore the hell out from me. I miss Baby.. *ouhh* ~,~ But he's super busy with lots of loads to do at work. I effingly much miss him so so dearly and I wish he could be with me now, hugging me all night long. I know it's not gonna happen futhermore he's in NS and even so I get to meet him during weekdays, it will be just my luck. Hence still, it's better ever than never. Baby I really hope you are doing great in all that you do. You will always be my Boo~! Oh yeah.. Haha *wink* (:

"I've stopped letting boys define me and I started believing in myself."

B.. Oh.. B..

2011-06-05T17:11:00.005+08:00

(Alalala... Picture Collage I cute Kan.. Oh well, tell me about it! Hees~! ^,^)

Oh hey.. Baby if you are reading this than I've got something to tell you..

Urmm...Urmm... "B... I.. I.. Miss You Lah Sayang". I miss you like ton of times much. Oh dear.. there are still a year plus to go and than, finally B is done serving his National Service. Make it fast B! Please! They constantly drift you far away from me but they failed to keep our hearts apart. They fail.. Haha! Loser!

I love you B. I love you.. I love you... I love you... Now the question is.. would you leave me one day when I'm no longer your hot-stuff? Ahaa... kidding only lah can?! hahaha.. Meet up with me soon okay okay love! Heart you so very very much, my one and only prince! Xoxoxoxoxoxo~!

Love Love Love!

2011-06-04T00:29:00.007+08:00

Hey-Hey-Hey! Like I've promised, I'll post out a blog entry about my love-life story today.. Actually.. There are so many things that happened in my life that I don't think I had the time to share all of it with the public furthermore I ain't those hardworking bloggers who update their blog on a daily routine, oh well.. *smile* Anyway.. I met up with B just now and we were at town not shopping but WINDOW shopping. Haha.. Indeed that is something B doesn't quite like to do but he is still okay with it. So like always, we'll sit somewhere, puffing away, observing people around us and criticizing those we dislike; Those with a fuck-face and an irony attitude. The shitty part happens when we were busy criticizing the fat people than out of the blue, three freaking drops of bird shits fell on us! Oh wait! Make it Four! Wah.. Of all people who sat around there, why us?! Urgh..! Evil bird.. Evil bird..! Lucky B got tissue.. Right b?

Okay ENOUGH.. Let us proceed to the next topic shall we? Alright.. *SKIP*

Thank God so so much that till now our love for each other remain the same right from the start. Counting months of being with him had taught me so much of values in life. And it's through thick and thin of life that we've learnt and because of it too, our love gets stronger and inseparable. I really should thank God for all the happiness he gave to me. B had shown me what true love really means.. It means 'Valuing the heart of someone who really mean so much to you with your life.' Yes. It may just be a sentence long but it truly has a deeper meaning to it. B promised me to be with me for eternity and would never betrayed the promises and the love we've built so far; As I trust him on that. I'll ensure that I do my part too in this relationship. It's just not for me but it's for us; The happiness is for us to share and feel as one. I swear to God that I Love Him To Bits and every beat of my heart calls out his name. He will always be in my mind and close to my heart. Always and forever..Love Shahidayat.. Xoxo~!

Birthday Girl (:

2011-06-02T22:46:00.015+08:00

Oh Hey Lovelies! Shasha is back for more updates! Oh ya... Sorry if I didn't update my blog yesterday as I came back home late and I'm too tired to on my comp.

Oh Gwen...! Let me sing for you a birthday song right?! Alright... *clear troat* "Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you... Happy Birthday to Gorgeous Gwen... Happy Birthday to you... Yayyy!" Happy Birthday Girl! May all your wish come true in this special day of yours and do have a blast babe..! Heart you love!

Pictures? Alright, here we go! *scroll down-down-down*
Ps: "Click on the picture to enLARGE."

I'll add another post, most probably tommorow morning after I've woke up.. I miss myself posting out something special for my prince and therefore tommorow, I shall make an update about my love life! Yes, 'Shahidayat's love stories'..

You know that blogging can get more and more exciting when you are able to express your feelings publicly about someone you truly loves, someone you can't live without? How amazing?!.. Haizzz... Arghhh... *yawn* Wahh sleepy to the max! Urgh! I think I SHOULD go off to bed like NOW so.. night everyone! Sweet dreams and God bless! Xoxo~!

About A Girl

2011-05-31T20:19:00.013+08:00

Hi readers... (:

School has drained my brain-juice COMPLETELY; Super tiring I swear. Oh God please save me... Arghh... Yet another day in school tomorrow and guess what? It's school's vacation babeh! I won't find myself a part-time jobs but thus also, I won't let myself rot for weeks at home. Therefore, the least I could do is, buck up on my studies and try to complete my final-year project. Year 3 is such a killer but I'll try to do the best I could at least a DIP cert, at least.. *finger crossed*

Oh well... today's class was pretty much mundane, classmates weren't so much into today's problem and half of the class, partial! Haha... yayy.. I wanted to partial too but B won't let me do so without any valid reasons and plus if it's gonna affect my grades. But... at this kind of circumstances, camwhoring do kill every girls boredom for sure. So yaaa... it became somewhat my life-saver for the day ~! Anyways~ Let me introduce to all of you this gorgeous Ang-Mo looking girl. Haha.. Chio right.. Ah? Ah? *wiggle eyebrows* Haha... right.. enough already.. Alright everybody, she's Denise and yes she's mixed.

Ps: Oh hey love... create a blog account okay..?! haha.. We shall camwhore again on some other days like always. *winks* Xoxo~!

Shagged.

2011-05-30T15:23:00.007+08:00

I miss blogging...(I MISS YOU BLOGGER! Gaahh~!) I did tried to log-in so many times but failed cos they need my email verification. So after days of figuring out the solutions to the problem, I've found out that there's another way to recover my email; which has been abandoned for a decade long. And here I am! *How awesome?!* I miss posting out about B in my blog too. Well, updates? Life has been better than ever throughout the days. I'll try to update my blog more frequently now and then, though my schedule are all tightly packed.

Baby has been such a great boyfriend! I love him to bits ahh huuhuu.. He's like my favorite Oreo Ice-Blend that I can't stop craving. You know, I just love him so much that if I could, I would love to be by his side 24/7 around the clock; Just me and him. I love NurHidayat just as much as he loves me... Haha.. heart you love! Do take care when I'm not around right b? When you're too far away from me every weekdays.. in camp! -__-

I can't wait till I've got a lot of money next month than I can go enjoy shopping with my B.. Ok... That's all for today's post.. See you when I see you again. Okayy.. Adios!

!ZoM---BiE!

2011-05-21T09:17:00.005+08:00

"I woke up this morning feeling dead like a zombie; my eyes are swollen, my nose itchy, my back hurts so damn much till I couldn't twist or bend my body, my left leg gave me that benumb feeling and I have to drag my left leg whenever I walk." However, my pathetic morning will about to end when I meet up with my B later. He's the only medication that works on whatever illness that is in my body. So yeah! :)

*SKIP*

*SKIP*

*SKIP*

(I miss my favorite victim so damn much whom I believe, still view my blog.. Maybe she's undergoing some major liposuction after getting all stressed out about those criticism and insult My B and I came up with. But, it's the fact what.. We were just trying to be honest about her look. I really hope she's not in critical mood and thus I hope the liposuction works on her body.)

Ps: I'll never stop to make you feel like shit once I've got to know that you stalk my blog. Why in the first place you stalk my blog? What is there in my life that interest you so much? Busybody or what..? *flick hair* Fucking Fat-ass bitch! hahahaha!

So deeply in Love...

2011-05-18T00:49:00.003+08:00

(Yat - Shasha tie the knot. Eh.. eh... How cute?!)

My Baby is full of surprises as expected but knowing about when those surprises will be made, seems oblivious to me and in fact, he's the utmost sweetest boyfriend ever! =) Well, it all explain why our 6th months celebration was superb. It had always been the same every month. Thank you so much honey, I appreciate it so so much!

Now.. he's beside me, lying head on my lap and at this hour, he's obviously staying over at my crib for the third time. How awesome?! Get to hug and kiss him to sleep. God, it feels so heavenly. Okay.. enough said.. I must entertain my beloved honey baby already. Goodbye and goodnight!

*wave hand*

Ps: Those two pictures were taken during our 6th months celebration. I only upload two of them but actually, there are more pictures in my B's phone.

And All Things Will End; Lifelong-memories.

2011-05-14T15:11:00.012+08:00

"Life moves on, can't stay the same.
We're all falling forward with no signs of slow and some moving faster.
You know its hard; its passing by memories.
Be out all night to reminisce wont bring you back, just look ahead and hold on
tight.

Lived through you, safe with how we lived our lives, with how it all turned out.
Uncovered lies, surfaced throughout, will make you change your mind.
Sometimes life is altered; won't turn out right, can't turn out right.

When I see you, I can read it in your eyes, fate is understood.
Swallowed the lies, can't blame you for, thinking with your heart.
I see my world crumble and fall, before my eyes.
Dark will turn to light, in time I'll be alright.

Living goes by fast, catch your breath and it will pass you by.
And it won't last, to sulk with the memories you hold."

Much Love,
Nur Shahidah